Top 10 Sympathy Gifts of 2012

Sending a sympathy gift can often be difficult. Not having the right words, or finding a gift that is meaningful enough can be hard. It's true what they say, there are no words. Sometimes its that sentiment that brings the most comfort to those that are grieving. Just knowing that someone else doesn't have the words either to grieve with you. It's the depth of that statement that rings so true for those in the middle of the heavy grief that comes with the loss of a loved one.

Sending a sympathy gift that is tastefully done, filled with simple treats, comforting poems or books and memorial jewelery or candles can often times be the perfect sentiment. Words do escape us when we or someone we love is experiencing grief. Send a sympathy gift basket that will bring comfort to those who are hurting.

Celebrating the Holidays without your Loved One

This month has been one of the hardest so far as I deal with the passing of my father. The holidays are fast approaching and I just don't feel much like celebrating.
Have you felt like this? It is normal, but it doesn't make it easy.

Here is an article that helps you understand that the pain is normal, but that you can turn that pain into a new tradition that will honor your loved ones memory at Christmas time and throughout the year.

Read it here at Planet Gift Baskets where you can send a sympathy gift basket any time of year.

Holidays and Grief

Heading to a grief support group was not my idea but my friends. I didn't want to go, I didn't want to have to deal with all the emotions. Grief is such a private thing. However, I went with her.
The director introduced us, I sat silent. While people talked, I kept longing to hear the words that would bring me comfort. The meeting was over, the director finished with her usual speech about everyone grieving differently, but I knew most of that.
In the parking lot that night I began to sob. My friend, compassionate and sincere, stood beside me with her arm on my shoulder. I'm not sure she spoke a word, words were not needed. It was just her being there that meant so much. I was not alone.

Later as she drove me home I started to talk about the upcoming holidays and how hard it would be. Remembering all the good memories just tore at my heart. Knowing that I wasn't able to spend the last holidays with my loved one pulled at my heart. The harder I tried to remember our last holiday together, the more foggy my memory became. And then I told her those words I was waiting to hear from the support group. "It will get better, the holidays will get easier" I told her no one said it. Everyone should me sympathy, but no one told me it would get easier.
My friend, wise beyond her years stopped in front of my house. She turned to me and put her arm on my shoulder again. Her words did not bring me comfort this time. "It is not going to get easier, you will always hold these memories in your heart and they will come up when you least expect it." Oh, the pain in my heart at those words. Her next sentence did give me some relief. "I will be here for you, and we can remember together every holiday if you like."
The importance of that simple comment has stayed with me for several years now. Yes, the holidays have changed for me, we have new traditions, new memories, but all the old ones are still with me. My heart aches at my loss, but I always know my friend is right there when I need her. She seems to call right when I'm at my lowest, she has sent me cards that seem to know what day to arrive, she has even showed up to take me out to coffee when I didn't even know I needed the break.

If there is one lesson I have learned from this part of my life, it is the constant love and support of friends who stay by your side, each day, each week and each moment that you need them. Friends who love you enough to remember with you and remember you during the holidays.

If you have a friend or family member who has lost a loved one, why not take a few minutes to drop a card in the mail, make that phone call or just show up to take them out for dinner or coffee. I promise, it will be exactly what the need.

A Guide to Grief : HospiceNet.Org

Grief is the normal process of reacting to the loss. Grief reactions may be felt in response to physical losses (for example, a death) or in response to symbolic or social losses (for example, divorce or loss of a job). Each type of loss means the person has had something taken away. As a family goes through a cancer illness, many losses are experienced, and each triggers its own grief reaction. Grief may be experienced as a mental, physical, social, or emotional reaction. Mental reactions can include anger, guilt, anxiety, sadness, and despair. Physical reactions can include sleeping problems, changes in appetite, physical problems, or illness. Social reactions can include feelings about taking care of others in the family, seeing family or friends, or returning to work.

To read the rest of this article head over to HospiceNet.Org.

The information on their website is helpful for anyone who is suffering a loss. The death of a spouse, parent or child can be life changing, and grief comes in so many forms. Understanding and being able to identify your stages of grief can in itself be a step towards healing. Hospice was a wonderful help to our family and their website is full of information to help all those involved.

Thank you to HospiceNet.Org for writing this article.

How to Handle Gift Requests at Funerals

The family has asked for charitable donations in lieu of gifts. Can I send flowers or a sympathy gift basket anyway?

Yes you can. The family is trying to let people know that we don’t want you to spend money on flowers that will only be enjoyed for awhile and that instead we would like your money to do more good for others in our loved ones name. It does not mean they would turn them away or think less of you, it just means they are trying to be practical and change a difficult time into some good. If you want to send a gift or flowers by all means do it. It will cheer them to know they are thought of and it will be welcomed. If you do make a charitable donation a note saying what charity you donated to is more than acceptable. You do not need to note the amount you sent.

Remembering the anniversary of a death.

It has been a year since my friends husband has died, should I let her know I’m thinking of her or would that bring up too many wounds?

Yes you should call or come over, it is going to be a difficult day whether anyone calls them or not. Having a friend who remembers will go a long way in easing the pain of the day. It doesn’t take much to show you have remembered their loved one, and yet it can mean the world to the person who has lived the loss daily for a year. It shows them that their loved one has lived on in the hearts of friends and family and that the memory has not faded or gone. Time does heal, time does lessen the pain, however that first anniversary is hard. By just remembering them with a simple gesture you can ease their pain tenfold.

The Importance of a Sympathy Card

An interview recently turned up this thought provoking look at how a simple sympathy card could really make a difference in the life of someone who is grieving.

Read the article here.

Helping your Child Deal with Grief

Helping Children Deal With Grief means you must also work at accepting your own feelings about grief. It is not an easy road, but realizing that we are grief differently, understanding that grief can show itself in many different forms will help us to accept it. 

Adults and children respond to that grief differently. Younger children may view the death as temporary or reversible. They do not grasp the finality of death. Because children view death differently than adults they should never be forced to attend a funeral if they are scared to go. Let them deal with the death on their own terms such as drawing a picture, writing a letter or making a scrapbook.

Remember, children may simply be grieving because they see you grieving. Accept where they are, encourage them to explore feelings, and be honest about your own. Like everything, grief is a process. There will be good days and bad. There will be easy days and difficult. Understanding that you are grieving and it is acceptable will help you to face it head on.

If grief ever becomes so overwhelming that you can not function for days at a time, consider seeing a grief counselor to help you. There is no shame in seeking help. Think of it as a gift to yourself and your children as you pass your healing on to them.

Respecting the Wishes of the Deceased

There comes a time when we have to discuss with our parents or loved ones their wishes for burial. I considered it a great honor to hold their final wishes in my heart. Tragedies happen all to often and not only are we not given the chance to say goodbye, but we are sometimes left wondering what kind of service, burial or final resting place they would have wanted.
It's difficult to discuss those wishes with those we love but knowing that the last greatest gift you can give them is to honor their requests brings comfort to a broken heart.
Recently we discussed my father's requests for services and burial. He has asked that no public services are held and that his remains are cremated and spread somewhere he enjoyed as a child. While they may not be what I would want for him, these are his wishes and as his daughter I feel it's my duty to honor him this way.
In order to properly respect all the wishes of your love one, store all the papers and directives in one place. It is likely they have an advanced directive, make sure they have filled out exactly what they want medically. Secondly, if they have a preference as to what funeral home they want attending to their body make sure you have the contact information. Depending on burial or cremation make sure you understand where they want to be laid to rest. Many times they may have a spouse or other family cemetery they want to buried in. Note any material processions they want buried with them. Finally have a list of poems, songs or letters they want read at their service.
Store all these papers in a labeled envelope in a file cabinet. Update as needed. This will allow you and your loved one peace of mind and one last thing they need to concern themselves with in their last days.

Sympathy and Social Media

Recently while watching a movie with my family I glanced over facebook on my blackberry. It was at that moment that I saw a post that choked me up. A friend of mine had passed away suddenly the night before. Shocked I ran to the computer and pulled up facebook and her profile to see if this was a joke or true. What I found was touching. She had indeed passed away but the expressions of all her friends as they posted on her wall with memories and prayers was comforting. Her facebook page had become an online memorial service. Friends comforting each other with sweet stories, posts to her saying how much they will miss her. Pictures shared by her friends and family so that all could witness her life. Prayers and comforting words for the family she left behind and a sense of being able to say goodbye.
While I'm not sure facebook is the way I want to find out when someone has died, this social media outlet has had a healing effect for her family as well as for her friends. I've appreciated all the posts and pictures, songs and poems people have shared. Today I will attend her Memorial Service, something a week ago I would not have even considered. I feel prepared to walk in knowing that there are so many people who loved her.

Holly Davis was 35 years old when she passed away. She will be missed.

Expressing Your Sympathy When The Boss Dies

Sympathy Gift Baskets

How does one express sympathy to the family of your boss when they pass away? Many times the employees do not have a close relationship to the boss, yet the untimely passing leaves a huge gap that is not easily filled.
The first thing to do is respect the wishes of the immediate family. If you have been invited to the memorial service it is polite to attend. Many times in larger corporations representatives from each department or branch are asked to attend. In this case one person should come to represent the group and could bring a gift or card signed by each member they are representing.
If you have fond memories of the person it is also acceptable to send a card with the representative for the family expressing your sympathy and your memories.
No one enjoys going to funerals, but when it is requested that employees attend going to show the family your support is important. While the person may have just been your boss, he or she is also someones close family member and seeing supporters does bring a small level of comfort.

Sympathy Charms

About a year ago I came across these unique sympathy charms. This is a beautiful way to give a sympathy gift or keepsake to a friend or family member. These charms caught my eye because of the detail that can be seen and the precious memories that can be forever etched in silver or gold.

These gifts are perfect for children who have lost a grandparent, parent or friend. A beautiful gift for a widow who has lost her spouse.

A beautiful memorial piece that will be cherished for many years and generations to come.

Take Initiative

When someone we know is experiencing grief we don't always know exactly what we should do. Do we let them take the lead and call us? Do we send a card and offer help, but let them take initiative? What is the right thing to do, and for how long?
First thing, be the one who takes the initiative. Your friend is grieving and her memory may be very short at this time. Don't expect her to remember who said they would help when a card was sent. Call from time to time to check up on your friend and continue to offer your help. Be specific with errands you think you could run for her that would help. Drop off a dinner, don't wait to be asked. Most times people will not ask, so here is a great time to just take the initiative and assume it will be appreciated. To make it convenient put it in a throw away container, mark and date it and offer to put it in the freezer for her.
Offer to take the kids to the park or run them to practice. If she does have younger kids she may not have had time to properly grieve since she is trying to stay strong for her kids. An offer to let the kids get out will be appreciated in many ways.
If you know your friend is going to a bereavement group, offer to go along. Support can go along way, even if it is just being there.
Remember the holidays, this can be one of the most difficult times during the first few years. A quick call, an invite to dinner or even a card just letting them know you are remembering them during this difficult time will go along way to show you care.

Above all, be genuine. Do for your friend what you would hope someone would do for you. You can't go wrong ever, by showing someone you truly do care.

Our Sympathies Gift Basket- Gourmet Trunk

Our Sympathies Gift Basket- Gourmet Trunk

Sympathy Gifts can be hard to choose. Sometimes as family and friends, we do not know what to do or say when someone is grieving. Even worse, we may even say nothing at all. As time goes on it gets even more awkward to express your sympathy and condolences for their loss. Planet Gift Baskets strives to make this situation easier on those that wish to express their sympathy. We have created a unique and personalized sympathy gift line that includes condolence gifts for all budgets, lifestyles and recipients.We have also included a line of sympathy gifts for men which can be hard to find that reflect a masculine style. Each gift comes with free personalized ribbon to express your heartfelt condolences. If you are at a loss of what to say, we have included some respectful and common expressions you may choose to add to your ribbon.

What To Give a Grieving Friend?

Flowers have traditionally been the most common sympathy gifts people have given to those who are hurting or mourning.  And granted, flowers are beautiful but they do not last, in fact they will shrivel up and die.  Furthermore, many people are allergic to flowers and or have small children or animals and have to be careful of falling petals. 

While a note is an always welcomed sympathy gift the traditional card carries sadness about it.  So if flowers and cards seem gloomy what can a person do for someone who is hurting? Here are some creative ideas to let someone know you care about them but in a positive encouraging way.

The first thing you can do is pray for that person.  This costs nothing and yet means everything.   Do not be afraid to let the person you know you care.  One of the biggest mistakes people make when a loved one or friend are going through a time of grieving is staying away.  It is hard to know what to do when a person is experiencing a tough difficult season or has experienced a tragedy in their lives but keep be persistent in your care and love for that person.

Find the good in the bad.  Find something about the person that has passed away people remember.  For instance, if your grandpa passed away and everyone knew he loved dark chocolate, fill a basket full of a variety of dark chocolates.  Choose different brands, different varieties, and shapes.   You can’t go wrong with chocolate and food will be welcomed by those who are grieving.  We all need fuel and energy during hard times.

When I think of apple pie I can’t help but think of my grandmother.  So when she died we bought apple trees for each of the children.  It made all of us feel better and even happier years later when the trees began producing fruit. 

Giving the family a personalized sympathy gift may be one of the best gifts ever to give.  A blanket with a special photo on it, a stuffed animal with a message, a Bible verse with the name of the person who died, and the list goes on of ideas.

Instead of a card give a poem or a letter sharing memories you have of the person who died.  It will be much appreciated and mean a lot to the family and friends left behind.

Take these ideas and expand on them, be creative and share in the hurt for then you will add some joy in the midst of a storm.

Sarah Phillips Leaves Her Mom With A Tribute

Sarah, while grieving for the loss of her mom, sang this simple song into her phone. What a beautiful tribute.




sarahoephillips | March 02, 2010

NOW AVAILABLE ON ITUNES FOR 79p ALL PROCEEDS TO DEBBIE PHILLIPS CERVICAL CANCER FUND
*CLICK ON LINK BELOW TO DONATE*
http://www.ucl.ac.uk/cancertrust/debb...
I recorded this into my mobile phone in my bedroom on the 10th February 2010, the evening my mother, Debbie Phillips, died of cervical cancer. Family friend, Charlie Mole, subsequently added the musical accompaniment. This was played as a tribute at her funeral on 25th February. Cervical cancer has for a long time been the 'poor relation' of other cancers. The Debbie Phillips Cervical Cancer Research Fund has been set up as part of the UCL Cancer Research Trust to fund research into the detection and treatment of cervical cancer. The link will take you to a site which will enable you to make a donation to the fund. If you like my song please make a donation.

Click on this link to donate: http://www.ucl.ac.uk/cancertrust/debb...

Click to join campaign to make it a single: http://www.facebook.com/group.php?v=w...

Click to join the mailing list: http://sarahphillips.fanbridge.com/

Mom Dying Of Cancer Leaves Memories For Twins

CBS's story about Liz Dustin really touched my heart today. As a mom of twins, who also went through a cancer scare after my twins were born, it hit me hard. While my tumor turned out to be very benign, our family struggled for a few months before we found out. My heart goes out to the Dustin family, and I hope that this story will touch you too. We should regard every day as precious.

 

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In her final days of life, a young Minnesota mother sat down with WCCO-TV's Liz Collin to talk candidly about her battle with cancer and the memories she wanted to leave behind for her 9-month-old twin daughters.

"Today's a really good day for me. I'm able to sit up on the couch and enjoy time with my little girls," said 29-year-old Liz Dustin, of St. Cloud, Minn.

That was on Friday. Wednesday morning, Liz lost her battle with cancer, but her family still wants to share her story of courage.

Nine months have passed since the two days in May that changed the Dustin family's lives. Liz and her husband, Shaw Dustin, were getting ready to be parents. After two miscarriages, Liz was pregnant with twins that were due in a month.

Something wasn't right with her legs, so she went into the doctor to get them checked out.

"I was in so much pain, I had to sit downstairs on the couch," she said.

"We thought it was just from the pregnancy until they gave us the actual diagnosis," said Shaw. "That was the hardest part."

Doctors diagnosed Liz with sarcoma, a tissue cancer. Two days after her diagnosis, doctors performed an emergency Caesarean section at St. Cloud Hospital and her daughters were born more than a month early.

Even though they were premature, the twins are now healthy, though they wear helmets to reshape their heads.

Right after the twins were born, doctors removed a tumor the size of a football from Liz's upper thigh. The cancer had also spread to her lungs. Chemotherapy and radiation haven't helped.

Doctors said there's nothing more they can do. Over Christmas they told her she wouldn't make it, but she fought for six more weeks, enjoying the time that she had.

"That's what I'm doing right now, enjoying every minute of it," she said last Friday.

She scrapbooked, wrote letters to the twins and has told her family what she wants her daughters to hear.

"Tell them about me, how I enjoyed life, you know, that I was a great mom who fought this, who wanted to be here for you girls," Liz said.

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Liz's sister wrote this poem for her sister:

Remember Me

Remembrance is important to the human soul
We all want to be remembered when we are gone
Please remember me as the way I am
A beautiful strong soul who did not give in
Who did not give up the battle when the fight got tough
My spirit is forever resilient
Although my body is not as I wished it was
It can only endure so much pain before it gives up the struggle to survive it
Remember me for my radiance
As it rays down on you like sunshine warms the soul
Remember me for how much I cherish life
Embracing how lovely and delicate life truly is
As life is a precious gift to us all
We only have this one life to live
Be inspired to be the best person you can be
Tell my children they are loved and adored
How truly resilient I am for life and all it's beauty
As I face death with grace
As I watch over them from heaven
As an Angel with wings
Bathing them with love from heaven above
I'll always be within your hearts and souls
To be remembered and kept safe as a keepsake
As I know I am truly beloved
My final wish is to be truly remembered and not forgotten

Please Remember Me

To my sister.

Sharon Yvone Hoffarth

Thinking of Others

You know the saying; until you've walked in my shoes don't judge me? Have you ever considered that everyone has a story. Even those beautifully made up women in the store at 5am while your standing there in your pajamas, slippers and a hat on, have a story. Just the other day a dear friend of mine was shopping in the underwear section. Did you realize it can be almost impossible to pick out underwear when your stress level is to the max? My friend had just learned her brother was going to be put on kidney dialysis. While she is surrounded with friends and family who are there to help her out during this time her emotions are still running high. She doesn't know why she was in the underwear section at that very moment but she was. Standing next to her was another lady with the seemingly same issue. Picking out underwear. While my friend made a comment about just giving up trying to find the right kind, this lady responded, "I can't give up, I just checked my brother into the hospital. His kidneys are failing." Amazed at what just took place my friend Lisa introduced herself. Out of her mouth poured encouragement, understanding and a sympathy no one else could share with this stranger at that moment.
My point is this. We all have burdens, heartaches and joys. You may not understand someones pushy way in the store, or their apparent lack of awareness around them. I myself have been guilty of judging those who seem to only lookout for themselves, or seem to have no thought of anyone else around them. Did I ever consider their hearts may be so full of grief they are walking and doing without thinking? Instead of feeling we should pay back insult for insult, or rudeness for rudeness, let us try on the hat of patience, understand and sympathy. We have not walked a mile in everyone shoes, and the lady who seemingly is rude and huffy, may be at Walmart trying to find some clothes to change into because her life is in upheaval.