Reaching out for the Holidays

Do you know a neighbor, friend or even church member who has lost a loved one some time during this year? It seems as we get older it becomes more often that we know them.
Christmas is one of the hardest times for those who have lost a loved one. It almost tops the anniversary date of their death, birthdays and other events. Christmas has always been about family and being together. The loss that is felt at this time of year is deeper and heavier then one can imagine.

This year, reach out to someone who could use a little Christmas cheer. Invite them over for dinner or take them out to lunch. Let them talk about their loved one without feeling rushed. Give them the gift of time. It's just as difficult to take a few minutes in the rush and hustle of Christmas but it will be a lasting gift of time that can never be taken away.
If you know a widow or widower, single mom or just a lonely grandma, bring them over to enjoy the season with you. It's what Christmas means to many and it will mean the world to the person who otherwise would have been alone.

Celebrating the Holidays without your Loved One

This month has been one of the hardest so far as I deal with the passing of my father. The holidays are fast approaching and I just don't feel much like celebrating.
Have you felt like this? It is normal, but it doesn't make it easy.

Here is an article that helps you understand that the pain is normal, but that you can turn that pain into a new tradition that will honor your loved ones memory at Christmas time and throughout the year.

Read it here at Planet Gift Baskets where you can send a sympathy gift basket any time of year.

Holidays and Grief

Heading to a grief support group was not my idea but my friends. I didn't want to go, I didn't want to have to deal with all the emotions. Grief is such a private thing. However, I went with her.
The director introduced us, I sat silent. While people talked, I kept longing to hear the words that would bring me comfort. The meeting was over, the director finished with her usual speech about everyone grieving differently, but I knew most of that.
In the parking lot that night I began to sob. My friend, compassionate and sincere, stood beside me with her arm on my shoulder. I'm not sure she spoke a word, words were not needed. It was just her being there that meant so much. I was not alone.

Later as she drove me home I started to talk about the upcoming holidays and how hard it would be. Remembering all the good memories just tore at my heart. Knowing that I wasn't able to spend the last holidays with my loved one pulled at my heart. The harder I tried to remember our last holiday together, the more foggy my memory became. And then I told her those words I was waiting to hear from the support group. "It will get better, the holidays will get easier" I told her no one said it. Everyone should me sympathy, but no one told me it would get easier.
My friend, wise beyond her years stopped in front of my house. She turned to me and put her arm on my shoulder again. Her words did not bring me comfort this time. "It is not going to get easier, you will always hold these memories in your heart and they will come up when you least expect it." Oh, the pain in my heart at those words. Her next sentence did give me some relief. "I will be here for you, and we can remember together every holiday if you like."
The importance of that simple comment has stayed with me for several years now. Yes, the holidays have changed for me, we have new traditions, new memories, but all the old ones are still with me. My heart aches at my loss, but I always know my friend is right there when I need her. She seems to call right when I'm at my lowest, she has sent me cards that seem to know what day to arrive, she has even showed up to take me out to coffee when I didn't even know I needed the break.

If there is one lesson I have learned from this part of my life, it is the constant love and support of friends who stay by your side, each day, each week and each moment that you need them. Friends who love you enough to remember with you and remember you during the holidays.

If you have a friend or family member who has lost a loved one, why not take a few minutes to drop a card in the mail, make that phone call or just show up to take them out for dinner or coffee. I promise, it will be exactly what the need.

How to Handle Gift Requests at Funerals

The family has asked for charitable donations in lieu of gifts. Can I send flowers or a sympathy gift basket anyway?

Yes you can. The family is trying to let people know that we don’t want you to spend money on flowers that will only be enjoyed for awhile and that instead we would like your money to do more good for others in our loved ones name. It does not mean they would turn them away or think less of you, it just means they are trying to be practical and change a difficult time into some good. If you want to send a gift or flowers by all means do it. It will cheer them to know they are thought of and it will be welcomed. If you do make a charitable donation a note saying what charity you donated to is more than acceptable. You do not need to note the amount you sent.

Thrust into a care giving situation does not mean you don't need support and help. This video from the CRFoundation will help you understand how you can support the caregiver and how the caregiver can get support.

Showing Kindness During This Back To School Season

Mom's usually love shopping with their children for the back to school days. Trying on outfits, getting school supplies, a fun lunch just the girls and maybe even getting that hair cut and pedicure together.
Maybe your children are all grown up but you know of a single dad whose wife has passed away. If you have the little extra to give why not take their son or daughter out for a back to school shopping trip. It doesn't have to cost a fortune to give of your time to make a child feel extra special.
If it's the single mom who has a child at home her finances might be extra tight. Offer to take them both out school shopping or give them a few gift cards to the local store to purchase a few items as well as a gift card for lunch out and even a hair cut.
These simple gifts will go a long way and help a child have a wonderful memory to share of back to school shopping. And it will help out the single parent in many ways.

Sympathy Charms

About a year ago I came across these unique sympathy charms. This is a beautiful way to give a sympathy gift or keepsake to a friend or family member. These charms caught my eye because of the detail that can be seen and the precious memories that can be forever etched in silver or gold.

These gifts are perfect for children who have lost a grandparent, parent or friend. A beautiful gift for a widow who has lost her spouse.

A beautiful memorial piece that will be cherished for many years and generations to come.

Our Sympathies Gift Basket- Gourmet Trunk

Our Sympathies Gift Basket- Gourmet Trunk

Sympathy Gifts can be hard to choose. Sometimes as family and friends, we do not know what to do or say when someone is grieving. Even worse, we may even say nothing at all. As time goes on it gets even more awkward to express your sympathy and condolences for their loss. Planet Gift Baskets strives to make this situation easier on those that wish to express their sympathy. We have created a unique and personalized sympathy gift line that includes condolence gifts for all budgets, lifestyles and recipients.We have also included a line of sympathy gifts for men which can be hard to find that reflect a masculine style. Each gift comes with free personalized ribbon to express your heartfelt condolences. If you are at a loss of what to say, we have included some respectful and common expressions you may choose to add to your ribbon.

What To Give a Grieving Friend?

Flowers have traditionally been the most common sympathy gifts people have given to those who are hurting or mourning.  And granted, flowers are beautiful but they do not last, in fact they will shrivel up and die.  Furthermore, many people are allergic to flowers and or have small children or animals and have to be careful of falling petals. 

While a note is an always welcomed sympathy gift the traditional card carries sadness about it.  So if flowers and cards seem gloomy what can a person do for someone who is hurting? Here are some creative ideas to let someone know you care about them but in a positive encouraging way.

The first thing you can do is pray for that person.  This costs nothing and yet means everything.   Do not be afraid to let the person you know you care.  One of the biggest mistakes people make when a loved one or friend are going through a time of grieving is staying away.  It is hard to know what to do when a person is experiencing a tough difficult season or has experienced a tragedy in their lives but keep be persistent in your care and love for that person.

Find the good in the bad.  Find something about the person that has passed away people remember.  For instance, if your grandpa passed away and everyone knew he loved dark chocolate, fill a basket full of a variety of dark chocolates.  Choose different brands, different varieties, and shapes.   You can’t go wrong with chocolate and food will be welcomed by those who are grieving.  We all need fuel and energy during hard times.

When I think of apple pie I can’t help but think of my grandmother.  So when she died we bought apple trees for each of the children.  It made all of us feel better and even happier years later when the trees began producing fruit. 

Giving the family a personalized sympathy gift may be one of the best gifts ever to give.  A blanket with a special photo on it, a stuffed animal with a message, a Bible verse with the name of the person who died, and the list goes on of ideas.

Instead of a card give a poem or a letter sharing memories you have of the person who died.  It will be much appreciated and mean a lot to the family and friends left behind.

Take these ideas and expand on them, be creative and share in the hurt for then you will add some joy in the midst of a storm.

Reality of Hunger

This past week we were able to experience one families deep need for food. This was a large family with 4 children who, like many in our nation, have run across hard times. This family is perfectly normal from the outside. Their children are so well mannered, dressed in nice clothing, happy and healthy. However, when you stepped into their kitchen one thing lacked. Food. They have benefited from the local gleaners, who deliver day old bread from the stores, veggies and fruit that may not be perfect but still edible and local food pantries. While this family had not asked for help, it was evident they needed it.

If you can take the time, donate to your local food pantry. I know many of us don't have much, but grabbing an extra bag of rice, or a few extra cans of veggies on sale at the store and donating them has a much bigger impact than we imagine sometimes. Just because a family is well put together, does not mean they are not struggling. If you know a neighbor or friend who needs a little help, consider making your own food basket and taking it to them. If your not sure what to buy, consider a gift card to your local supermarket.

Volunteering your time at your local pantry may give you just the push you need to step up your own donations. Realizing how many people out there are down right now will encourage you to give just a little more this time.

A Little Goes a Long Way

You know we are entering a new technological age when you can donate money via text message. You may have thought it couldn't work, but the Red Cross has received over 7 million dollars since the Haiti earth quake doing just that. Just before midnight two days after the quake the Red Cross tweeted: You can text "HAITI" to 90999 to donate $10 to Red Cross relief efforts in Haiti. Since then over 700,000 people have done just that. Think you don't have time to research out a company, write out a check, or put it in the mail? Now you can pick up your phone and in less then 60 seconds donate money to a reputable charity. For the first time in years the Red Cross has used technology to connect to the young Americans that are so hard to reach, and they have responded.

If you are a U.S. cell phone users here is an easy way to donate $10. Text “HAITI” to 90999 and the money will be automatically billed in your next monthly statement.