Monday, November 15, 2010

What To Give a Grieving Friend?


Flowers have traditionally been the most common sympathy gifts people have given to those who are hurting or mourning.  And granted, flowers are beautiful but they do not last, in fact they will shrivel up and die.  Furthermore, many people are allergic to flowers and or have small children or animals and have to be careful of falling petals. 
While a note is an always welcomed sympathy gift the traditional card carries sadness about it.  So if flowers and cards seem gloomy what can a person do for someone who is hurting? Here are some creative ideas to let someone know you care about them but in a positive encouraging way.
The first thing you can do is pray for that person.  This costs nothing and yet means everything.   Do not be afraid to let the person you know you care.  One of the biggest mistakes people make when a loved one or friend are going through a time of grieving is staying away.  It is hard to know what to do when a person is experiencing a tough difficult season or has experienced a tragedy in their lives but keep be persistent in your care and love for that person.
Find the good in the bad.  Find something about the person that has passed away people remember.  For instance, if your grandpa passed away and everyone knew he loved dark chocolate, fill a basket full of a variety of dark chocolates.  Choose different brands, different varieties, and shapes.   You can’t go wrong with chocolate and food will be welcomed by those who are grieving.  We all need fuel and energy during hard times.
When I think of apple pie I can’t help but think of my grandmother.  So when she died we bought apple trees for each of the children.  It made all of us feel better and even happier years later when the trees began producing fruit. 
Giving the family a personalized sympathy gift may be one of the best gifts ever to give.  A blanket with a special photo on it, a stuffed animal with a message, a Bible verse with the name of the person who died, and the list goes on of ideas.
Instead of a card give a poem or a letter sharing memories you have of the person who died.  It will be much appreciated and mean a lot to the family and friends left behind.
Take these ideas and expand on them, be creative and share in the hurt for then you will add some joy in the midst of a storm.