What To Give a Grieving Friend?

Flowers have traditionally been the most common sympathy gifts people have given to those who are hurting or mourning.  And granted, flowers are beautiful but they do not last, in fact they will shrivel up and die.  Furthermore, many people are allergic to flowers and or have small children or animals and have to be careful of falling petals. 

While a note is an always welcomed sympathy gift the traditional card carries sadness about it.  So if flowers and cards seem gloomy what can a person do for someone who is hurting? Here are some creative ideas to let someone know you care about them but in a positive encouraging way.

The first thing you can do is pray for that person.  This costs nothing and yet means everything.   Do not be afraid to let the person you know you care.  One of the biggest mistakes people make when a loved one or friend are going through a time of grieving is staying away.  It is hard to know what to do when a person is experiencing a tough difficult season or has experienced a tragedy in their lives but keep be persistent in your care and love for that person.

Find the good in the bad.  Find something about the person that has passed away people remember.  For instance, if your grandpa passed away and everyone knew he loved dark chocolate, fill a basket full of a variety of dark chocolates.  Choose different brands, different varieties, and shapes.   You can’t go wrong with chocolate and food will be welcomed by those who are grieving.  We all need fuel and energy during hard times.

When I think of apple pie I can’t help but think of my grandmother.  So when she died we bought apple trees for each of the children.  It made all of us feel better and even happier years later when the trees began producing fruit. 

Giving the family a personalized sympathy gift may be one of the best gifts ever to give.  A blanket with a special photo on it, a stuffed animal with a message, a Bible verse with the name of the person who died, and the list goes on of ideas.

Instead of a card give a poem or a letter sharing memories you have of the person who died.  It will be much appreciated and mean a lot to the family and friends left behind.

Take these ideas and expand on them, be creative and share in the hurt for then you will add some joy in the midst of a storm.

Six Year Old Elaina Touchs The Hearts Of Many

Sarah Phillips Leaves Her Mom With A Tribute

Sarah, while grieving for the loss of her mom, sang this simple song into her phone. What a beautiful tribute.




sarahoephillips | March 02, 2010

NOW AVAILABLE ON ITUNES FOR 79p ALL PROCEEDS TO DEBBIE PHILLIPS CERVICAL CANCER FUND
*CLICK ON LINK BELOW TO DONATE*
http://www.ucl.ac.uk/cancertrust/debb...
I recorded this into my mobile phone in my bedroom on the 10th February 2010, the evening my mother, Debbie Phillips, died of cervical cancer. Family friend, Charlie Mole, subsequently added the musical accompaniment. This was played as a tribute at her funeral on 25th February. Cervical cancer has for a long time been the 'poor relation' of other cancers. The Debbie Phillips Cervical Cancer Research Fund has been set up as part of the UCL Cancer Research Trust to fund research into the detection and treatment of cervical cancer. The link will take you to a site which will enable you to make a donation to the fund. If you like my song please make a donation.

Click on this link to donate: http://www.ucl.ac.uk/cancertrust/debb...

Click to join campaign to make it a single: http://www.facebook.com/group.php?v=w...

Click to join the mailing list: http://sarahphillips.fanbridge.com/

Mom Dying Of Cancer Leaves Memories For Twins

CBS's story about Liz Dustin really touched my heart today. As a mom of twins, who also went through a cancer scare after my twins were born, it hit me hard. While my tumor turned out to be very benign, our family struggled for a few months before we found out. My heart goes out to the Dustin family, and I hope that this story will touch you too. We should regard every day as precious.

 

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In her final days of life, a young Minnesota mother sat down with WCCO-TV's Liz Collin to talk candidly about her battle with cancer and the memories she wanted to leave behind for her 9-month-old twin daughters.

"Today's a really good day for me. I'm able to sit up on the couch and enjoy time with my little girls," said 29-year-old Liz Dustin, of St. Cloud, Minn.

That was on Friday. Wednesday morning, Liz lost her battle with cancer, but her family still wants to share her story of courage.

Nine months have passed since the two days in May that changed the Dustin family's lives. Liz and her husband, Shaw Dustin, were getting ready to be parents. After two miscarriages, Liz was pregnant with twins that were due in a month.

Something wasn't right with her legs, so she went into the doctor to get them checked out.

"I was in so much pain, I had to sit downstairs on the couch," she said.

"We thought it was just from the pregnancy until they gave us the actual diagnosis," said Shaw. "That was the hardest part."

Doctors diagnosed Liz with sarcoma, a tissue cancer. Two days after her diagnosis, doctors performed an emergency Caesarean section at St. Cloud Hospital and her daughters were born more than a month early.

Even though they were premature, the twins are now healthy, though they wear helmets to reshape their heads.

Right after the twins were born, doctors removed a tumor the size of a football from Liz's upper thigh. The cancer had also spread to her lungs. Chemotherapy and radiation haven't helped.

Doctors said there's nothing more they can do. Over Christmas they told her she wouldn't make it, but she fought for six more weeks, enjoying the time that she had.

"That's what I'm doing right now, enjoying every minute of it," she said last Friday.

She scrapbooked, wrote letters to the twins and has told her family what she wants her daughters to hear.

"Tell them about me, how I enjoyed life, you know, that I was a great mom who fought this, who wanted to be here for you girls," Liz said.

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Liz's sister wrote this poem for her sister:

Remember Me

Remembrance is important to the human soul
We all want to be remembered when we are gone
Please remember me as the way I am
A beautiful strong soul who did not give in
Who did not give up the battle when the fight got tough
My spirit is forever resilient
Although my body is not as I wished it was
It can only endure so much pain before it gives up the struggle to survive it
Remember me for my radiance
As it rays down on you like sunshine warms the soul
Remember me for how much I cherish life
Embracing how lovely and delicate life truly is
As life is a precious gift to us all
We only have this one life to live
Be inspired to be the best person you can be
Tell my children they are loved and adored
How truly resilient I am for life and all it's beauty
As I face death with grace
As I watch over them from heaven
As an Angel with wings
Bathing them with love from heaven above
I'll always be within your hearts and souls
To be remembered and kept safe as a keepsake
As I know I am truly beloved
My final wish is to be truly remembered and not forgotten

Please Remember Me

To my sister.

Sharon Yvone Hoffarth

Ash Pendants Make Wonderful Sympathy Gifts

Sympathy Gifts and Memorial Jewelry

More Sympathy Jewelry

In the last several years memorial jewelry has become one of the best selling gifts you can give to those who have experienced the death of a loved one. This Lens is dedicated to finding ways and gifts that are touching, unique and will bring great comfort to those who are suffering.

Town in Iowa Comes Together for University Senior

Press Citizion reported this story a month ago. It is wonderful to see how a town can come together to help those in need.

In February, University of Iowa senior and 2006 Mid-Prairie High graduate Addison Powell began to feel like he had a sinus infection.

The condition worsened and by Easter weekend, it was discovered he had a tumor on his brain that would grow from the size of a golf ball to a baseball by the time it was removed April 28. The 13-hour operation caused doctors to remove his left eye after the tumor was found to have moved into his eye muscles. He now is recovering, three weeks shy of receiving his degree in computer science from UI.
On Saturday, his family and hometown of Wellman will host a day-long benefit to help Powell, 22, and his family handle the bills from the medical treatments and travel to St. Louis and the Mayo Clinic in Rochester, Minn. The benefit will include a four-person best show golf tournament at 9 a.m. at the Wellman Golf Course followed by a free-will dinner and a silent auction from 4 to 7 p.m. and a live auction at the Parkside Activity Center in Wellman, all to help Powell.
"This is going to be his battle for the rest of his life," said Melissa Rediger, his aunt and one of the organizers of the benefit.
The live auction, scheduled to start at 6:30 p.m. at the Parkside Activity Center, will include four nights at a condo at Lazy Days at the Lake of the Ozarks in Missouri for six people, a solid oak rocker, glider rocker, gift certificates, a meal for 12 people by Clara Bontrager, a power washer, a load of rock and trucking from Terra, several gift certificates and a theme basket. There also will be a football signed by Iowa football coach Kirk Ferentz, Rediger said.
She said she expects 800 to 1,000 people to attend the benefit.
"I think it's going to be pretty big," she said. "The Powell family is pretty well known down here."
Powell said he expects to undergo radiation treatment to get rid of whatever was left of the tumor during the coming months. He said he was hopeful to finish his degree and complete his internship at Rockwell Collins. In the meantime, he said he is grateful for the support from the community.
"I think it's really great," he said. "I can't believe people in this community came together like this."

Outpouring of Love

I thought I would follow up on a recent post below. Two weeks ago I posted about my friends baby who was in the hospital with seizures. It was such a helpless feeling to be so far away. With the help of many, her older children were provided for, her needs while at the hospital were met and more then anything a sense of community coming together was felt. People all over the nation sent help.
What touches me more then anything, is a complete stranger to us, yet a sister in Christ, was able to go be with our friend at the hospital. A much needed shoulder to cry on, and arm to hold up. My heart was filled knowing that kindness and compassion are not dead.
The baby is doing much better now after 11 days in the hospital. Mom, Dad and baby are being reunited with their family today. I feel so blessed to have been a part in helping.

On a side note, while the families kids were here it became quite apparent they had not packed to be away from home for more then a day. Families from our group stepped up to purchase clothing for these kids. A simple way to show we loved them. Two boys I know took their own money and their own clothes to these kids. When I asked why they wanted to give, the reply was, " they really needed it and I have it to give."