How We Helped Grandpa Through The Holidays

Grandpa was funny. He always acted so strong and in control. He was the man of the family. The one who wore the pants. Sure, he loved my Grandma but he made most important decisions. I always wondered if it was him or his generation? Maybe it was both. But when Grammy died, I am sure part of Grandpa did too. See, in many ways she died slowly. My grandmother was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s. It was a slow painful disease. We all watched her turn into someone she wasn’t. So when that first Christmas came where Grandma was with us physically but the disease had stolen most of who we knew her to be it was hard for all of us. But especially for Grandma

Grandma loved Christmas. She cherished it. I can still picture her Santa shaped sugar cookies, her beautiful table, and I can’t forget about Christmas Eve Soup night. It hurts to actually recall those things. Time changes things. And while it was inevitable, Grandpa needed our sympathy gifts that first Christmas more than anything else.

It was hard to know what to give her or him. The Grandma we knew had changes so much and most of her time was spent sitting and staring. It was heart breaking to watch and yet if we were hurting I can only imagine what Grandpa who always seemed so self assured must have felt. We decided to help him through this first holiday but keeping Grandma’s memory alive. We made a blanket with all of the great grand kids pictures on it. Both would enjoy it and Grandma always was cold before she was sick.

We made a sympathy gift for Grandpa. It was a basket of all of his favorite things that reflected Grandma. Her sugar cookies, her silly hats she made for Grandpa, a framed photo of their wedding day with an embossed love note I found in a drawer.

These sympathy gifts were hard to see. But meant the world to Grandpa at the same time. And while Grandma may have only been aware for a moment I am sure I saw her smile as Grandma held close their wedding photo as if it were tugging at his heart.

Helping of all of us walk through the pain Alzheimer’s can bring is heart wrenching. But offering a sympathy gift during the holidays can help heal and mean hearts.