The Rag Quilt

A story called The Rag Coat inspired my friends to make a quilt for one of our friends who lost her grandfather. This friend of our was very close to her grandfather and when he died she was out of town. He was like a father to her and you can imagine how difficult it was for her to not be there to say goodbye. A week later the children had gone through the house taking what they wanted and discarding everything else outside with a free sign. The hurt ran deep within my friend and her family. No thought was given as to if others in the family may want or need something to remember him by.
After hearing the pain in our friends heart, it was decided that we should go and get some of her grandfathers clothes out of the free pile and make her a rag quilt. This was done in secret. We met together the next day with sewing machines in hand and cut and sewed her grandfathers memories into a blanket that would bring her comfort. Here are her words after she received our small gift :
                   

The ones I LOVE gathered my grandfathers clothes. The clothes that were left discarded for free as if they had no value. They gathered them with love and prayers and created a quilt. A quilt to comfort my heart and wrap me in love. A quilt of memories. Even the little ironed creases my grandma made in my grandpas jeans are on the patches. I love you friends and I cannot thank you enough.

 A simple expression between friends to help heal the pain. Friends can bring us down and friends can lift us up.      

Email or Sympathy Card ?

With more and more people communicating via email, facebook or IM's, the subject of sympathy etiquette has come up many times. When should I send a sympathy email vs. a sympathy card?

If you communicate with your friend or colleague by email and do not meet with them in person ever, sending an email acknowledging the death of a family member or loved one is acceptable. However it is advised  that you always follow up your email with a personal hand written card.

If you know your friend or colleague well you should send a card as soon as you hear of their loved ones death. Card etiquette suggests you hand write the card in black ink. Always follow up your card with a phone call to show your sincere sympathies.

Giving a Gift to Someone Who Lost a Baby

This week we remembered little Hosanna and her mom who was so kind to share her story with us and help us get a glimpse of what it is like to lose a baby so little. Today we look at a few gifts that can be sent to those who are grieving the loss of their child.


This book Little Footprints written by Dorothy Ferguson makes a truly wonderful gift for the grieving parents. This special memory book is made for parents with a stillborn child or who have experienced a newborn death. This special booklet preserves tiny keepsakes and memories. Photos and keepsakes can be kept inside the pockets.


The book Where's Jess is a perfect book to give to a family who has older children. They are sure to be experiencing their own grief at the loss of a sibling. This beautifully illustrated book will help them to have a better understanding of death.

Together these books will be a treasured thoughtful gift to a family who is grieving their loss.

The birth of Hosanna from Pinkpeas

My friend shared this story with me from her midwife. It is her hope that through her story people may begin to understand those who have gone through a miscarriage. I know for me it has really touched my heart to hear the details so that I may in turn comfort another in time. Because of the length of this post, I will attach the link to her blog here.

I am grateful to Maggie for sharing her story so that we may be able to offer sympathy and not shy away from those who have experience the death of unborn child, or newborn. It shows us, that even if you do not feel you have any comforting words to offer, your kind acts can give so much comfort.

Thank you Maggie, for sharing little Hosanna with us.

http://pinkpeas.com/content/hosanna

Thinking of Others

You know the saying; until you've walked in my shoes don't judge me? Have you ever considered that everyone has a story. Even those beautifully made up women in the store at 5am while your standing there in your pajamas, slippers and a hat on, have a story. Just the other day a dear friend of mine was shopping in the underwear section. Did you realize it can be almost impossible to pick out underwear when your stress level is to the max? My friend had just learned her brother was going to be put on kidney dialysis. While she is surrounded with friends and family who are there to help her out during this time her emotions are still running high. She doesn't know why she was in the underwear section at that very moment but she was. Standing next to her was another lady with the seemingly same issue. Picking out underwear. While my friend made a comment about just giving up trying to find the right kind, this lady responded, "I can't give up, I just checked my brother into the hospital. His kidneys are failing." Amazed at what just took place my friend Lisa introduced herself. Out of her mouth poured encouragement, understanding and a sympathy no one else could share with this stranger at that moment.
My point is this. We all have burdens, heartaches and joys. You may not understand someones pushy way in the store, or their apparent lack of awareness around them. I myself have been guilty of judging those who seem to only lookout for themselves, or seem to have no thought of anyone else around them. Did I ever consider their hearts may be so full of grief they are walking and doing without thinking? Instead of feeling we should pay back insult for insult, or rudeness for rudeness, let us try on the hat of patience, understand and sympathy. We have not walked a mile in everyone shoes, and the lady who seemingly is rude and huffy, may be at Walmart trying to find some clothes to change into because her life is in upheaval.

The Hope Room

While cancer has not touched my life has it has many people I know, my heart was touched by this simple outreach here in town. The Hope Room. Here cancer patients can come in and get wigs, scarves, hand made colorful turbans and books. It is all donated and free to any cancer patient. This simple act of kindness is inspiring. I can not imagine the strength it takes to come to terms with cancer and the treatment it requires. Let alone trying to finance medical bills and medications. The Hope Room is the perfect name. When everything has a cost, The Hope Room gives you back a little bit of hope that all is not lost. Volunteers give of their time to support and comfort those who are at a loss. What a blessing to families that are going through the trials of cancer.

Blankets of Love

One year the kids and I read about a program called Blanket of Love. It was a non-profit organization that collected gently used blankets and shipped them to Sudan. Hundreds of thousands of blankets have made it into the arms of many who had nothing but a thin rag to cover themselves at night. My children almost instantly began gathering all the blankets that were not in use at that exact moment. I was worried that maybe we would give too many, that we may need some of those blankets for ourselves. When my children reminded me that each of our beds no only had a sheet, a blanket and a comforter, I realized they really were showing compassion. My eyes flooded with tears as we boxed up a huge box of blankets that will still in very good shape and kept the older ones for ourselves. Their idea, not mine. They were not going to wait even one day. It was off to the post office with our huge box of blankets. It was such a small price to pay to send these blankets to a U.S address where they would bag them up to be airlifted.
It's been four years and we still have more blankets then we use. While I'm not sure if Blankets of Love is still in operation, I know my local shelter could benefit from the donation as well.