Take Initiative

When someone we know is experiencing grief we don't always know exactly what we should do. Do we let them take the lead and call us? Do we send a card and offer help, but let them take initiative? What is the right thing to do, and for how long?
First thing, be the one who takes the initiative. Your friend is grieving and her memory may be very short at this time. Don't expect her to remember who said they would help when a card was sent. Call from time to time to check up on your friend and continue to offer your help. Be specific with errands you think you could run for her that would help. Drop off a dinner, don't wait to be asked. Most times people will not ask, so here is a great time to just take the initiative and assume it will be appreciated. To make it convenient put it in a throw away container, mark and date it and offer to put it in the freezer for her.
Offer to take the kids to the park or run them to practice. If she does have younger kids she may not have had time to properly grieve since she is trying to stay strong for her kids. An offer to let the kids get out will be appreciated in many ways.
If you know your friend is going to a bereavement group, offer to go along. Support can go along way, even if it is just being there.
Remember the holidays, this can be one of the most difficult times during the first few years. A quick call, an invite to dinner or even a card just letting them know you are remembering them during this difficult time will go along way to show you care.

Above all, be genuine. Do for your friend what you would hope someone would do for you. You can't go wrong ever, by showing someone you truly do care.