Thrust into a care giving situation does not mean you don't need support and help. This video from the CRFoundation will help you understand how you can support the caregiver and how the caregiver can get support.

Preparing Children for Surgery

I have some wonderful friends who have a little boy with a heart defect. He has had several open heart surgeries. I've been blessed to watch how they help him understand all the tubes and wires, doctors and nurses and the unfamiliar surroundings.
He is 5 years old and this will be his 7th surgery. That is a lot for a little one. Building a sense of control into his life is key. For weeks ahead of time they "play" doctor and listen to each others hearts. Getting him familiar with the masks and the doctors tools.
A good set of Fisher price doctors tools and bag helps them to play these simple games which actually are preparing him for the real doctor. His parents do their best to keep happy and play with him to keep his mind off things.
The biggest thing they have reminded me of is that children are very aware with how comfortable or uncomfortable the parents are around the doctor and machines. If you are relaxed your child will naturally follow your lead. It may be hard to hold it together some times in front of the child, but doing your best to smile and stay calm is the best way to help your child do the same.

Showing Kindness During This Back To School Season

Mom's usually love shopping with their children for the back to school days. Trying on outfits, getting school supplies, a fun lunch just the girls and maybe even getting that hair cut and pedicure together.
Maybe your children are all grown up but you know of a single dad whose wife has passed away. If you have the little extra to give why not take their son or daughter out for a back to school shopping trip. It doesn't have to cost a fortune to give of your time to make a child feel extra special.
If it's the single mom who has a child at home her finances might be extra tight. Offer to take them both out school shopping or give them a few gift cards to the local store to purchase a few items as well as a gift card for lunch out and even a hair cut.
These simple gifts will go a long way and help a child have a wonderful memory to share of back to school shopping. And it will help out the single parent in many ways.

Respecting the Wishes of the Deceased

There comes a time when we have to discuss with our parents or loved ones their wishes for burial. I considered it a great honor to hold their final wishes in my heart. Tragedies happen all to often and not only are we not given the chance to say goodbye, but we are sometimes left wondering what kind of service, burial or final resting place they would have wanted.
It's difficult to discuss those wishes with those we love but knowing that the last greatest gift you can give them is to honor their requests brings comfort to a broken heart.
Recently we discussed my father's requests for services and burial. He has asked that no public services are held and that his remains are cremated and spread somewhere he enjoyed as a child. While they may not be what I would want for him, these are his wishes and as his daughter I feel it's my duty to honor him this way.
In order to properly respect all the wishes of your love one, store all the papers and directives in one place. It is likely they have an advanced directive, make sure they have filled out exactly what they want medically. Secondly, if they have a preference as to what funeral home they want attending to their body make sure you have the contact information. Depending on burial or cremation make sure you understand where they want to be laid to rest. Many times they may have a spouse or other family cemetery they want to buried in. Note any material processions they want buried with them. Finally have a list of poems, songs or letters they want read at their service.
Store all these papers in a labeled envelope in a file cabinet. Update as needed. This will allow you and your loved one peace of mind and one last thing they need to concern themselves with in their last days.

Sympathy and Social Media

Recently while watching a movie with my family I glanced over facebook on my blackberry. It was at that moment that I saw a post that choked me up. A friend of mine had passed away suddenly the night before. Shocked I ran to the computer and pulled up facebook and her profile to see if this was a joke or true. What I found was touching. She had indeed passed away but the expressions of all her friends as they posted on her wall with memories and prayers was comforting. Her facebook page had become an online memorial service. Friends comforting each other with sweet stories, posts to her saying how much they will miss her. Pictures shared by her friends and family so that all could witness her life. Prayers and comforting words for the family she left behind and a sense of being able to say goodbye.
While I'm not sure facebook is the way I want to find out when someone has died, this social media outlet has had a healing effect for her family as well as for her friends. I've appreciated all the posts and pictures, songs and poems people have shared. Today I will attend her Memorial Service, something a week ago I would not have even considered. I feel prepared to walk in knowing that there are so many people who loved her.

Holly Davis was 35 years old when she passed away. She will be missed.

Expressing Your Sympathy When The Boss Dies

Sympathy Gift Baskets

How does one express sympathy to the family of your boss when they pass away? Many times the employees do not have a close relationship to the boss, yet the untimely passing leaves a huge gap that is not easily filled.
The first thing to do is respect the wishes of the immediate family. If you have been invited to the memorial service it is polite to attend. Many times in larger corporations representatives from each department or branch are asked to attend. In this case one person should come to represent the group and could bring a gift or card signed by each member they are representing.
If you have fond memories of the person it is also acceptable to send a card with the representative for the family expressing your sympathy and your memories.
No one enjoys going to funerals, but when it is requested that employees attend going to show the family your support is important. While the person may have just been your boss, he or she is also someones close family member and seeing supporters does bring a small level of comfort.

Sympathy Charms

About a year ago I came across these unique sympathy charms. This is a beautiful way to give a sympathy gift or keepsake to a friend or family member. These charms caught my eye because of the detail that can be seen and the precious memories that can be forever etched in silver or gold.

These gifts are perfect for children who have lost a grandparent, parent or friend. A beautiful gift for a widow who has lost her spouse.

A beautiful memorial piece that will be cherished for many years and generations to come.