Sympathy From The Heart

Reaching out for the Holidays

2011-12-20T07:36:00.000-08:00

Do you know a neighbor, friend or even church member who has lost a loved one some time during this year? It seems as we get older it becomes more often that we know them.
Christmas is one of the hardest times for those who have lost a loved one. It almost tops the anniversary date of their death, birthdays and other events. Christmas has always been about family and being together. The loss that is felt at this time of year is deeper and heavier then one can imagine.

This year, reach out to someone who could use a little Christmas cheer. Invite them over for dinner or take them out to lunch. Let them talk about their loved one without feeling rushed. Give them the gift of time. It's just as difficult to take a few minutes in the rush and hustle of Christmas but it will be a lasting gift of time that can never be taken away.
If you know a widow or widower, single mom or just a lonely grandma, bring them over to enjoy the season with you. It's what Christmas means to many and it will mean the world to the person who otherwise would have been alone.

Celebrating the Holidays without your Loved One

2011-12-14T08:08:00.000-08:00

This month has been one of the hardest so far as I deal with the passing of my father. The holidays are fast approaching and I just don't feel much like celebrating.
Have you felt like this? It is normal, but it doesn't make it easy.

Here is an article that helps you understand that the pain is normal, but that you can turn that pain into a new tradition that will honor your loved ones memory at Christmas time and throughout the year.

Read it here at Planet Gift Baskets where you can send a sympathy gift basket any time of year.

Holidays and Grief

2011-11-23T07:49:00.000-08:00

Heading to a grief support group was not my idea but my friends. I didn't want to go, I didn't want to have to deal with all the emotions. Grief is such a private thing. However, I went with her.
The director introduced us, I sat silent. While people talked, I kept longing to hear the words that would bring me comfort. The meeting was over, the director finished with her usual speech about everyone grieving differently, but I knew most of that.
In the parking lot that night I began to sob. My friend, compassionate and sincere, stood beside me with her arm on my shoulder. I'm not sure she spoke a word, words were not needed. It was just her being there that meant so much. I was not alone.

Later as she drove me home I started to talk about the upcoming holidays and how hard it would be. Remembering all the good memories just tore at my heart. Knowing that I wasn't able to spend the last holidays with my loved one pulled at my heart. The harder I tried to remember our last holiday together, the more foggy my memory became. And then I told her those words I was waiting to hear from the support group. "It will get better, the holidays will get easier" I told her no one said it. Everyone should me sympathy, but no one told me it would get easier.
My friend, wise beyond her years stopped in front of my house. She turned to me and put her arm on my shoulder again. Her words did not bring me comfort this time. "It is not going to get easier, you will always hold these memories in your heart and they will come up when you least expect it." Oh, the pain in my heart at those words. Her next sentence did give me some relief. "I will be here for you, and we can remember together every holiday if you like."
The importance of that simple comment has stayed with me for several years now. Yes, the holidays have changed for me, we have new traditions, new memories, but all the old ones are still with me. My heart aches at my loss, but I always know my friend is right there when I need her. She seems to call right when I'm at my lowest, she has sent me cards that seem to know what day to arrive, she has even showed up to take me out to coffee when I didn't even know I needed the break.

If there is one lesson I have learned from this part of my life, it is the constant love and support of friends who stay by your side, each day, each week and each moment that you need them. Friends who love you enough to remember with you and remember you during the holidays.

If you have a friend or family member who has lost a loved one, why not take a few minutes to drop a card in the mail, make that phone call or just show up to take them out for dinner or coffee. I promise, it will be exactly what the need.

A Guide to Grief : HospiceNet.Org

2011-09-27T12:24:00.000-07:00

Grief is the normal process of reacting to the loss. Grief reactions may be felt in response to physical losses (for example, a death) or in response to symbolic or social losses (for example, divorce or loss of a job). Each type of loss means the person has had something taken away. As a family goes through a cancer illness, many losses are experienced, and each triggers its own grief reaction. Grief may be experienced as a mental, physical, social, or emotional reaction. Mental reactions can include anger, guilt, anxiety, sadness, and despair. Physical reactions can include sleeping problems, changes in appetite, physical problems, or illness. Social reactions can include feelings about taking care of others in the family, seeing family or friends, or returning to work.

To read the rest of this article head over to HospiceNet.Org.

The information on their website is helpful for anyone who is suffering a loss. The death of a spouse, parent or child can be life changing, and grief comes in so many forms. Understanding and being able to identify your stages of grief can in itself be a step towards healing. Hospice was a wonderful help to our family and their website is full of information to help all those involved.

Thank you to HospiceNet.Org for writing this article.

How to Handle Gift Requests at Funerals

2011-09-15T10:00:00.000-07:00

The family has asked for charitable donations in lieu of gifts. Can I send flowers or a sympathy gift basket anyway?

Yes you can. The family is trying to let people know that we don’t want you to spend money on flowers that will only be enjoyed for awhile and that instead we would like your money to do more good for others in our loved ones name. It does not mean they would turn them away or think less of you, it just means they are trying to be practical and change a difficult time into some good. If you want to send a gift or flowers by all means do it. It will cheer them to know they are thought of and it will be welcomed. If you do make a charitable donation a note saying what charity you donated to is more than acceptable. You do not need to note the amount you sent.

Remembering the anniversary of a death.

2011-09-14T10:00:00.000-07:00

It has been a year since my friends husband has died, should I let her know I’m thinking of her or would that bring up too many wounds?

Yes you should call or come over, it is going to be a difficult day whether anyone calls them or not. Having a friend who remembers will go a long way in easing the pain of the day. It doesn’t take much to show you have remembered their loved one, and yet it can mean the world to the person who has lived the loss daily for a year. It shows them that their loved one has lived on in the hearts of friends and family and that the memory has not faded or gone. Time does heal, time does lessen the pain, however that first anniversary is hard. By just remembering them with a simple gesture you can ease their pain tenfold.

The Importance of a Sympathy Card

2011-09-12T14:51:00.000-07:00

An interview recently turned up this thought provoking look at how a simple sympathy card could really make a difference in the life of someone who is grieving.

Read the article here.

Helping your Child Deal with Grief

2011-09-01T08:00:00.000-07:00

Helping Children Deal With Grief means you must also work at accepting your own feelings about grief. It is not an easy road, but realizing that we are grief differently, understanding that grief can show itself in many different forms will help us to accept it.

Adults and children respond to that grief differently. Younger children may view the death as temporary or reversible. They do not grasp the finality of death. Because children view death differently than adults they should never be forced to attend a funeral if they are scared to go. Let them deal with the death on their own terms such as drawing a picture, writing a letter or making a scrapbook.

Remember, children may simply be grieving because they see you grieving. Accept where they are, encourage them to explore feelings, and be honest about your own. Like everything, grief is a process. There will be good days and bad. There will be easy days and difficult. Understanding that you are grieving and it is acceptable will help you to face it head on.

If grief ever becomes so overwhelming that you can not function for days at a time, consider seeing a grief counselor to help you. There is no shame in seeking help. Think of it as a gift to yourself and your children as you pass your healing on to them.

2011-08-25T08:39:00.000-07:00

Thrust into a care giving situation does not mean you don't need support and help. This video from the CRFoundation will help you understand how you can support the caregiver and how the caregiver can get support.

Preparing Children for Surgery

2011-08-17T08:49:00.000-07:00

I have some wonderful friends who have a little boy with a heart defect. He has had several open heart surgeries. I've been blessed to watch how they help him understand all the tubes and wires, doctors and nurses and the unfamiliar surroundings.
He is 5 years old and this will be his 7th surgery. That is a lot for a little one. Building a sense of control into his life is key. For weeks ahead of time they "play" doctor and listen to each others hearts. Getting him familiar with the masks and the doctors tools.
A good set of Fisher price doctors tools and bag helps them to play these simple games which actually are preparing him for the real doctor. His parents do their best to keep happy and play with him to keep his mind off things.
The biggest thing they have reminded me of is that children are very aware with how comfortable or uncomfortable the parents are around the doctor and machines. If you are relaxed your child will naturally follow your lead. It may be hard to hold it together some times in front of the child, but doing your best to smile and stay calm is the best way to help your child do the same.

Showing Kindness During This Back To School Season

2011-08-11T08:04:00.000-07:00

Mom's usually love shopping with their children for the back to school days. Trying on outfits, getting school supplies, a fun lunch just the girls and maybe even getting that hair cut and pedicure together.
Maybe your children are all grown up but you know of a single dad whose wife has passed away. If you have the little extra to give why not take their son or daughter out for a back to school shopping trip. It doesn't have to cost a fortune to give of your time to make a child feel extra special.
If it's the single mom who has a child at home her finances might be extra tight. Offer to take them both out school shopping or give them a few gift cards to the local store to purchase a few items as well as a gift card for lunch out and even a hair cut.
These simple gifts will go a long way and help a child have a wonderful memory to share of back to school shopping. And it will help out the single parent in many ways.

Respecting the Wishes of the Deceased

2011-08-02T13:36:00.000-07:00

There comes a time when we have to discuss with our parents or loved ones their wishes for burial. I considered it a great honor to hold their final wishes in my heart. Tragedies happen all to often and not only are we not given the chance to say goodbye, but we are sometimes left wondering what kind of service, burial or final resting place they would have wanted.
It's difficult to discuss those wishes with those we love but knowing that the last greatest gift you can give them is to honor their requests brings comfort to a broken heart.
Recently we discussed my father's requests for services and burial. He has asked that no public services are held and that his remains are cremated and spread somewhere he enjoyed as a child. While they may not be what I would want for him, these are his wishes and as his daughter I feel it's my duty to honor him this way.
In order to properly respect all the wishes of your love one, store all the papers and directives in one place. It is likely they have an advanced directive, make sure they have filled out exactly what they want medically. Secondly, if they have a preference as to what funeral home they want attending to their body make sure you have the contact information. Depending on burial or cremation make sure you understand where they want to be laid to rest. Many times they may have a spouse or other family cemetery they want to buried in. Note any material processions they want buried with them. Finally have a list of poems, songs or letters they want read at their service.
Store all these papers in a labeled envelope in a file cabinet. Update as needed. This will allow you and your loved one peace of mind and one last thing they need to concern themselves with in their last days.

Sympathy and Social Media

2011-07-26T09:35:00.000-07:00

Recently while watching a movie with my family I glanced over facebook on my blackberry. It was at that moment that I saw a post that choked me up. A friend of mine had passed away suddenly the night before. Shocked I ran to the computer and pulled up facebook and her profile to see if this was a joke or true. What I found was touching. She had indeed passed away but the expressions of all her friends as they posted on her wall with memories and prayers was comforting. Her facebook page had become an online memorial service. Friends comforting each other with sweet stories, posts to her saying how much they will miss her. Pictures shared by her friends and family so that all could witness her life. Prayers and comforting words for the family she left behind and a sense of being able to say goodbye.
While I'm not sure facebook is the way I want to find out when someone has died, this social media outlet has had a healing effect for her family as well as for her friends. I've appreciated all the posts and pictures, songs and poems people have shared. Today I will attend her Memorial Service, something a week ago I would not have even considered. I feel prepared to walk in knowing that there are so many people who loved her.

Holly Davis was 35 years old when she passed away. She will be missed.

Expressing Your Sympathy When The Boss Dies

2011-07-14T08:34:00.000-07:00

Sympathy Gift Baskets

How does one express sympathy to the family of your boss when they pass away? Many times the employees do not have a close relationship to the boss, yet the untimely passing leaves a huge gap that is not easily filled.
The first thing to do is respect the wishes of the immediate family. If you have been invited to the memorial service it is polite to attend. Many times in larger corporations representatives from each department or branch are asked to attend. In this case one person should come to represent the group and could bring a gift or card signed by each member they are representing.
If you have fond memories of the person it is also acceptable to send a card with the representative for the family expressing your sympathy and your memories.
No one enjoys going to funerals, but when it is requested that employees attend going to show the family your support is important. While the person may have just been your boss, he or she is also someones close family member and seeing supporters does bring a small level of comfort.

Sympathy Charms

2011-07-11T08:35:00.000-07:00

About a year ago I came across these unique sympathy charms. This is a beautiful way to give a sympathy gift or keepsake to a friend or family member. These charms caught my eye because of the detail that can be seen and the precious memories that can be forever etched in silver or gold.

These gifts are perfect for children who have lost a grandparent, parent or friend. A beautiful gift for a widow who has lost her spouse.

A beautiful memorial piece that will be cherished for many years and generations to come.

Grieving from Afar.

2011-07-06T12:38:00.000-07:00

Offering your sympathy and condolences when a family member of a friend or an acquaintance passes away in another state or country is a natural act of love and empathy. Letting he or she know that you are there for them is often times all that is needed to show you care. For very close friends and acquaintances some choose to send a gift of support such as a sympathy gift basket or a contribution of flowers for the services. But what do you do when a family member or friend that you share a special friendship or bond with passes away and you find yourself living in another location far away and circumstances are such that you are not able to travel to attend the funeral services? Many find themselves in this agonizing situation with obstacles such as work, family obligations and other commitments that interfere with their ability to attend the funeral.

Fortunately for those who find themselves in this situation there is now a solution that is readily available, easy to set up, and a blessing for many. Online funerals are a direct result of modern technology and the information super highway that keeps us all connected no matter where our location or what our situation.

Many funeral homes are now offering this service. The family of the departed may choose to offer this service and find it acceptable but it is also wise to check with the clergyman who will officiate the ceremony as they sometimes may consider this to be inappropriate. If such a service is acceptable the family can begin to make the necessary arrangements and notifications of the day and time of the service. If you will be attending an online funeral you will want to pay particular attention to the necessary time zones so that you do not find yourself missing the service due the hourly difference in the time zones.

Once the services are ready to get underway you will be required to log in to the memorial home's company website and tune into the live web cast. There you will be able to observe the service just as if you were sitting in the audience and in actual attendance. This funeral option is an ever evolving service that will very soon allow you to interact live in real time with those in attendance. With such real time technology one might be able to personally offer condolences, support, or even give a eulogy for the deceased! Whatever the situation those who find themselves unable to attend a funeral will be ever grateful for this advanced and very loving alternative to show they care.

Please enjoy the informative and brief video that highlights the many benefits on online funeral planning or attendance.

Patriot Guards also Known as Operation Patriotic Shield

2011-06-30T08:59:00.000-07:00

I was listening to the radio station this morning when the local news told of a story of the Operation Patriotic Shield. I was intrigued and listened.
I was aware of the protests that have been happening at military funerals. While they saddened me deeply, I wasn't sure what I could do to help. This is where Operation Patriotic Shield comes in. Normal every day people like you and I come in with flags and posters thanking the family for the service and sacrifice of their loved one. These people, everyday citizens, line the funeral route to overwhelm the protesters. It's kind of like a human shield of honor.
Stephanie Williams of the Kansas City Examiner wrote an amazing article that shows how important this is.

If your interested in knowing more or participating in a local ceremony check out the Political Chips website or Operation Payback. Both sites are updated often. There is also a facebook group called Operation Patriotic Shield that you can friend.

Take Initiative

2011-05-31T08:21:00.000-07:00

When someone we know is experiencing grief we don't always know exactly what we should do. Do we let them take the lead and call us? Do we send a card and offer help, but let them take initiative? What is the right thing to do, and for how long?
First thing, be the one who takes the initiative. Your friend is grieving and her memory may be very short at this time. Don't expect her to remember who said they would help when a card was sent. Call from time to time to check up on your friend and continue to offer your help. Be specific with errands you think you could run for her that would help. Drop off a dinner, don't wait to be asked. Most times people will not ask, so here is a great time to just take the initiative and assume it will be appreciated. To make it convenient put it in a throw away container, mark and date it and offer to put it in the freezer for her.
Offer to take the kids to the park or run them to practice. If she does have younger kids she may not have had time to properly grieve since she is trying to stay strong for her kids. An offer to let the kids get out will be appreciated in many ways.
If you know your friend is going to a bereavement group, offer to go along. Support can go along way, even if it is just being there.
Remember the holidays, this can be one of the most difficult times during the first few years. A quick call, an invite to dinner or even a card just letting them know you are remembering them during this difficult time will go along way to show you care.

Above all, be genuine. Do for your friend what you would hope someone would do for you. You can't go wrong ever, by showing someone you truly do care.

How Do I Help Someone In The Hospital?

2011-05-11T11:17:00.000-07:00

Even with family there are a lot of things that still need to be taken care of when someone has to have an extended stay in the hospital. Usually family will be near their loved one and this means errands and normal household chores still need to be done. This article will expand on some ways to offer a helping hand to someone who finds themselves in a medical emergency.

The first things you want to do is to get permission and a house key. Let the family know what you would like to do. Your friend may not be able to give permission but extended family can. Get an idea of how long they are expected to be in the hospital and time your help accordingly.

If there are pets, consider bringing the pet to your house to be watched why they are in the hospital. Many families have dogs, cats or other critters that need food and water daily. It can bring comfort to the patient to know their animals are still receiving great care.

If there are children young or old offer to run them to school, pick them up, drop them off at activities. Depending on how many extended family members are around this may not be something that is needed, but offering it and being willing to do it will show just how much you want to help.

Offer to purchase groceries for the family still at home. Unless the person lives alone there is bound to be hungry people who would rather spend time with their loved one then grocery shopping.

Pre make several healthy soups and light meals. Label, date and freeze these meals. Nothing will say I care more then coming home from an extended hospital stay to healthy wholesome meals ready to go. Simple beef broth soups, chicken and rice soup, bean soups as well as small portion pasta dishes will be so appreciated as they regain their strength.

Another simple yet mundane task is preparing the house for their arrival back home. A quick dusting, vacuuming, and wiping down the bathroom would allow for them to relax instead of seeing what needs to be done. Hang fresh towels in the bathrooms and kitchen, make sure dishes are washed and any laundry is done and put away. Opening the windows and airing out the house for a few hours before they arrive will assure a welcoming environment to come home to.

Setting up a favorite chair or bedside table with recent magazines, fresh flowers, and a sympathy gift basket filled with healthy snacks will greet your friend and make them feel like a million bucks. Place all their mail in a simple basket along with a garbage can next to the table and they will be set and ready to continue the healing process.

For even more tips on showing sympathy and unique sympathy gifts, visit PlanetGiftBaskets.com

We Send Sympathy Gifts

2011-05-10T09:44:00.000-07:00

We Send Sympathy Gifts

A Unique Way To Help Someone Who Is Grieving

2011-04-26T10:32:00.000-07:00

Scrapbooking is a method for preserving personal and family history in the form of a scrapbook. Typical memorabilia include photographs, printed media, and artwork. Scrapbook albums are often decorated and frequently contain extensive journaling. Scrapbooking is a widely practiced pastime in the United States. (from Wikipedia)

Scrapbooking and designing scrapbooks are a huge part of some people's lives. After a devastating loss, some people do not know what to do to show comfort to the grieving.
Why not help to build a lovely scrapbook for the person or family who is grieving. For more information on Sympathy Gifts, read this article about Scrapbooking.

When You Grow Apart, Your Heart Can Hurt.

2011-04-20T18:22:00.001-07:00

Sister for always................
Growing up in a close knit family is something I want to recreate for my children. Mom, Dad, my sister and I were like the four musketeers. I know. There are only three, but you know what I mean. One for all and all for one. We did everything together.
I have great memories of my childhood. We had a pool. Every Tuesday my Mom put a red flag up and that let the neighbor kids know that it was open swim. Sometimes mom would cook hot dogs or one of the other mothers would bring over peanut butter and jelly. I can still picture my sister on an air mattress while I swam behind her kicking, pretending like I was the propeller. Good times for sure.
Hiking was what my dad loved. He knew every trail in the southern part of our state. Saturday mornings we were usually up early and ready to go on a new adventure. We were the wilderness family.
My favorite time of the year was Christmas. Dad got on the roof the day after Thanksgiving and hung the lights and then we had hot chocolate together and thought how beautiful the house looked. Shopping, caroling, baking, we did it all and made beautiful and new memories every year.
But then all that changed. My sisters freshman year of college she met the love of her life. At first things were great, but over time she began to change. Over the years it because clear that my sister’s now husband did not want to be any part of our family. I never really can figure out why... It broke our hearts because he did not encourage her to see us either.
Every Christmas the same problem comes up. What to do for my sister and her family? It hurts to think about. It would break my heart to do nothing and yet I want to be sensitive also.
Holiday gift baskets the article read. It told how I could pick out the items I wanted to send and they would be packaged in a Christmas theme and sent right to the house. And so I ordered my basket and had it sent. Somewhere in the bottom on my heart I still believe that my sister remembers all our adventures we had growing up and in her heart she is still part of the four musketeers. I have to believe…..

What Will You Do When You Lose A Loved One To Death?

2011-03-27T10:24:00.001-07:00

How many times have you tried to imagine what life would be like without a significant person in your life? We all do it. We think about how we will react and what we might do to carry on. When you lose a friend or family member you can spiral into the grieving cycle. An unexpected death in the family can be a devastating tragedy. What can you do to prepare yourself?

If your loved one endured a long illness, you can prepare to some extent. But, it can be painful and heartbreaking, even if you think you are prepared. How can you possibly prepare yourself for that kind of loss? Where can you turn?

Many people turn to their faith to get them through a tough time. Your church or place of worship can offer sympathy in a variety of ways. If you are plugged in to a church that has programs that support loss, they can offer relief from tragic moments in life. Some churches offer services such as sympathy gift baskets filled with books and food for the hurting. Some offer counseling, others offer meal delivery. All can help you through a rough patch in life.

The emotions can be intensified if you suddenly lose someone in an accident or some other tragic event when you never even had the chance to say goodbye. You can go into shock and not know where to turn. You also have so many things to do during this time of grieving. You must prepare for the wake or memorial service and the funeral, along with getting the word out to friends and relatives. You need someone in your life that can help you take care of everything. Someone willing to show sympathy like giving you sympathy gifts that can help ease the hole in your heart.

Sometimes after the funeral or memorial service is when you need the most support. Many people will send sympathy cards and gifts. Some people will send angels to watch over you or memorial gifts like garden stones or a personalized frame. All of these ideas can help the hurting person deal with the grief of losing a loved one.

When you receive gifts or gourmet gift baskets, you need to remember to send a thank you card or note.

Thanking everyone who helped you through a tough time is appreciated by many people. It also gives you a chance to touch base with people who love you. Don't forget your church or place of worship, your friends and those who have brought meals or food to you. When my mother in law passed away. The family sorted through all the gifts and cards and we made a list of all the people who needed a thank you. We then divided the list by all the kids and we all were able to write some thank you cards. When you divide them up, you can write more from your heart because you have less cards to write. The cards are meaningful to the people who gave the gifts and who attended the services.

Inspirational Words by Charles Spurgeon

2011-03-23T17:31:00.000-07:00

Charles Spurgeon
(June 19, 1834 – January 31, 1892) was a British Preacher who was known as the "Prince of Preachers".
In his lifetime, Spurgeon preached to around 10,000,000 people. People still look to his sermons for inspiration. When I read this passage, it really helped with a recent death in my own life and I wanted to pass it along.

"O children of God! death hath lost its sting. It is sweet to die; to lie upon the breast of Christ, and have one's soul kissed out of one's body by the lips of divine affection. And you that have lost friends, or that may be bereaved, sorrow not as those who are without hope. What a sweet thought the death of Christ brings us concerning those who are departed! They are gone, my brethren; but do you know how far they have gone? The distance between the glorified spirits in heaven and the militant saints on earth seems great; but it is not so. We are not far from home" Charles Spurgeon

Our Sympathies Gift Basket- Gourmet Trunk

2011-03-01T16:46:00.000-08:00

Our Sympathies Gift Basket- Gourmet Trunk

Sympathy Gifts can be hard to choose. Sometimes as family and friends, we do not know what to do or say when someone is grieving. Even worse, we may even say nothing at all. As time goes on it gets even more awkward to express your sympathy and condolences for their loss. Planet Gift Baskets strives to make this situation easier on those that wish to express their sympathy. We have created a unique and personalized sympathy gift line that includes condolence gifts for all budgets, lifestyles and recipients.We have also included a line of sympathy gifts for men which can be hard to find that reflect a masculine style. Each gift comes with free personalized ribbon to express your heartfelt condolences. If you are at a loss of what to say, we have included some respectful and common expressions you may choose to add to your ribbon.

How To Help A Family Through A Rough Time

2011-02-11T07:58:00.000-08:00

Right after high school graduation our son joined the Marines. He wanted to do something that would bring purpose to his life. Even though his father and I could think of other things we would rather see him do, we were very proud of him. While in boot camp, the unthinkable happened - 9/11.

In a nearby city, a young man who also wanted to find purpose in his life chose a career in firefighting. After graduation he started taking all the steps needed to live out his dream as a fireman. Then 9/11 happened. It made such an impact on him that he decided to join the Marines and serve his country. My son and Bryan ended up in the same platoon. They quickly became the best of friends. Over the next few months they worked hard at becoming war ready. In February of 2003 they answered the Commander-in-Chief's call and headed to Kuwait.

Bryan lost his life in Iraq. With honor, he gave his life as he protected those Marines with which he served. I remember the phone call his mom made to us just as if it were yesterday. We spent the next few days with his family grieving, crying and even laughing. The community gave Bryan's family great support and many friends stopped by their home with offerings of food, flowers, sympathy gift baskets and shared memories of Bryan. Even though the pain of their loss was overwhelming, these offerings helped comfort them.

For tips on how to help visit our Sympathy and Grief Resource Center
Sympathy Gifts of words and love can help.

How We Helped Grandpa Through The Holidays

2011-01-13T10:38:00.001-08:00

Grandpa was funny. He always acted so strong and in control. He was the man of the family. The one who wore the pants. Sure, he loved my Grandma but he made most important decisions. I always wondered if it was him or his generation? Maybe it was both. But when Grammy died, I am sure part of Grandpa did too. See, in many ways she died slowly. My grandmother was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s. It was a slow painful disease. We all watched her turn into someone she wasn’t. So when that first Christmas came where Grandma was with us physically but the disease had stolen most of who we knew her to be it was hard for all of us. But especially for Grandma

Grandma loved Christmas. She cherished it. I can still picture her Santa shaped sugar cookies, her beautiful table, and I can’t forget about Christmas Eve Soup night. It hurts to actually recall those things. Time changes things. And while it was inevitable, Grandpa needed our sympathy gifts that first Christmas more than anything else.

It was hard to know what to give her or him. The Grandma we knew had changes so much and most of her time was spent sitting and staring. It was heart breaking to watch and yet if we were hurting I can only imagine what Grandpa who always seemed so self assured must have felt. We decided to help him through this first holiday but keeping Grandma’s memory alive. We made a blanket with all of the great grand kids pictures on it. Both would enjoy it and Grandma always was cold before she was sick.

We made a sympathy gift for Grandpa. It was a basket of all of his favorite things that reflected Grandma. Her sugar cookies, her silly hats she made for Grandpa, a framed photo of their wedding day with an embossed love note I found in a drawer.

These sympathy gifts were hard to see. But meant the world to Grandpa at the same time. And while Grandma may have only been aware for a moment I am sure I saw her smile as Grandma held close their wedding photo as if it were tugging at his heart.

Helping of all of us walk through the pain Alzheimer’s can bring is heart wrenching. But offering a sympathy gift during the holidays can help heal and mean hearts.

Memorial Gifts...How Can You Choose What To Give?

2011-01-03T13:13:00.001-08:00

A memorial is a time to pause and reflect upon a life that was lived. It is a time to seek and look for all that was good in the precious life that was lived. A memorial is also a celebration of life. It is a time to rejoice and remember. A memorial gift can help keep those memories close to ones heart. It can help heal, bring joy, and continue the celebration of a person’s life. There are many different types of memorial gifts one can give. Here are some ideas and tips when giving a memorial gift to celebrate a loved one’s life for all of time.

*Choose a gift that reflects the person who has passed away. Sympathy Gifts for Men can be simple. If he loved fishing then a fishing photo personalized with his name would be a wonderful gift for a family member.

*Choose a gift that can be well used and often remembered. A blanket can be an everyday item but a blanket personalized with the date of life to death of a favorite grandmother will become a cherished item and not just a blanket.

*Remember those who are sometimes forgotten. Children can have a hard time expressing their emotions when death comes. A gift basket that is filled with items that reflects the person who has passed away is a great way to show love to the child and also respect for the lost. It is fun for kids to go through a gift basket and discuss how the items remind them of the person who is no longer in their lives.

*Memorial gifts should be positive. All life ends at some point. Seek to give an inspirational gift that encourages and focuses on the good. Prayers, poems, and inspirational messages coupled with beautiful artwork can do wonders for a grieving heart. There are many different items that can fill this need and constantly be a reminder of the life that was lived.

*Include a personal message. If you are not sure what to say than buy a book that helps one walk through the stages of grief. And write a small note on the inside. Actions as always speak louder than words.

There are just a few hints when choosing a memorial gift to celebrate your loved one!

Sorrow Can Be Devastating. What Can You Do

2010-12-28T13:06:00.001-08:00

You tell yourself to hold your tongue, to buck up, and keep your eyes on the prize. But you can’t, not like this. Why, of all people did it have to be you? You’re not too bad of a person, so as soon as you have silently told yourself not to; you start to cry.

It’s unfair really, you have looked back, checked and rechecked the past and nothing you did deserves this. The pain is something you haven’t felt before, the tears have come and gone, and yet the emptiness it still there, like a gaping hole in a water balloon. The feeble attempts you exert to patch the hole, the bigger it seems to get. No comforting word, not an action of love can end it. What you have lost is bigger than you, bigger than anyone. What can you do? Stay in this barren wasteland of eternal sadness?

You have two options here, and what you do, will not only change you, but the others around you. You may not know, but you are always watched, thinking you act for yourself, and your sadness it unfelt by loved ones and neighbors is a selfish thought. Back to your choices, you can drop yourself and let this sadness destroy you from the inside out, or breathe.

Let me tell you this, friend, brother, neighbor, it’s not too late, by locking arms and marching to a common goal you shall survive. Humans are civil creatures and to leave a brother behind is not something to be taken lightly. So, it is time to stand and fight the sorrow that has held your heart in clamped, wrinkled hands. Whether you have lost a loved one, hope, or Jerry your dog the world can be one to kick you when you’re down and yet the people of this world will be standing, waiting, for your eyes to lift up, and you hands to extend, and your voice to call out for help.

The goodness in people is like the wind, you can’t see it, but you feel it, and you see the effects of the wind, and but the time you have opened you eyes to see the people surrounding you, you’ll understand, they have bathed you in their love by the gifts of sympathy, physical and not. A gift given in love is something more precious than any amount to glamour and allure sent by the unfeeling.

Let yourself be loved, and lift up your face.

What To Give a Grieving Friend?

2010-11-15T13:25:00.000-08:00

Flowers have traditionally been the most common sympathy gifts people have given to those who are hurting or mourning. And granted, flowers are beautiful but they do not last, in fact they will shrivel up and die. Furthermore, many people are allergic to flowers and or have small children or animals and have to be careful of falling petals.

While a note is an always welcomed sympathy gift the traditional card carries sadness about it. So if flowers and cards seem gloomy what can a person do for someone who is hurting? Here are some creative ideas to let someone know you care about them but in a positive encouraging way.

The first thing you can do is pray for that person. This costs nothing and yet means everything. Do not be afraid to let the person you know you care. One of the biggest mistakes people make when a loved one or friend are going through a time of grieving is staying away. It is hard to know what to do when a person is experiencing a tough difficult season or has experienced a tragedy in their lives but keep be persistent in your care and love for that person.

Find the good in the bad. Find something about the person that has passed away people remember. For instance, if your grandpa passed away and everyone knew he loved dark chocolate, fill a basket full of a variety of dark chocolates. Choose different brands, different varieties, and shapes. You can’t go wrong with chocolate and food will be welcomed by those who are grieving. We all need fuel and energy during hard times.

When I think of apple pie I can’t help but think of my grandmother. So when she died we bought apple trees for each of the children. It made all of us feel better and even happier years later when the trees began producing fruit.

Giving the family a personalized sympathy gift may be one of the best gifts ever to give. A blanket with a special photo on it, a stuffed animal with a message, a Bible verse with the name of the person who died, and the list goes on of ideas.

Instead of a card give a poem or a letter sharing memories you have of the person who died. It will be much appreciated and mean a lot to the family and friends left behind.

Take these ideas and expand on them, be creative and share in the hurt for then you will add some joy in the midst of a storm.

Six Year Old Elaina Touchs The Hearts Of Many

2010-08-17T13:09:00.000-07:00

Sarah Phillips Leaves Her Mom With A Tribute

2010-07-24T10:11:00.000-07:00

Sarah, while grieving for the loss of her mom, sang this simple song into her phone. What a beautiful tribute.

sarahoephillips | March 02, 2010

NOW AVAILABLE ON ITUNES FOR 79p ALL PROCEEDS TO DEBBIE PHILLIPS CERVICAL CANCER FUND
*CLICK ON LINK BELOW TO DONATE*
http://www.ucl.ac.uk/cancertrust/debb...
I recorded this into my mobile phone in my bedroom on the 10th February 2010, the evening my mother, Debbie Phillips, died of cervical cancer. Family friend, Charlie Mole, subsequently added the musical accompaniment. This was played as a tribute at her funeral on 25th February. Cervical cancer has for a long time been the 'poor relation' of other cancers. The Debbie Phillips Cervical Cancer Research Fund has been set up as part of the UCL Cancer Research Trust to fund research into the detection and treatment of cervical cancer. The link will take you to a site which will enable you to make a donation to the fund. If you like my song please make a donation.

Click on this link to donate: http://www.ucl.ac.uk/cancertrust/debb...

Click to join campaign to make it a single: http://www.facebook.com/group.php?v=w...

Click to join the mailing list: http://sarahphillips.fanbridge.com/

Mom Dying Of Cancer Leaves Memories For Twins

2010-07-24T10:02:00.000-07:00

CBS's story about Liz Dustin really touched my heart today. As a mom of twins, who also went through a cancer scare after my twins were born, it hit me hard. While my tumor turned out to be very benign, our family struggled for a few months before we found out. My heart goes out to the Dustin family, and I hope that this story will touch you too. We should regard every day as precious.

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In her final days of life, a young Minnesota mother sat down with WCCO-TV's Liz Collin to talk candidly about her battle with cancer and the memories she wanted to leave behind for her 9-month-old twin daughters.

"Today's a really good day for me. I'm able to sit up on the couch and enjoy time with my little girls," said 29-year-old Liz Dustin, of St. Cloud, Minn.

That was on Friday. Wednesday morning, Liz lost her battle with cancer, but her family still wants to share her story of courage.

Nine months have passed since the two days in May that changed the Dustin family's lives. Liz and her husband, Shaw Dustin, were getting ready to be parents. After two miscarriages, Liz was pregnant with twins that were due in a month.

Something wasn't right with her legs, so she went into the doctor to get them checked out.

"I was in so much pain, I had to sit downstairs on the couch," she said.

"We thought it was just from the pregnancy until they gave us the actual diagnosis," said Shaw. "That was the hardest part."

Doctors diagnosed Liz with sarcoma, a tissue cancer. Two days after her diagnosis, doctors performed an emergency Caesarean section at St. Cloud Hospital and her daughters were born more than a month early.

Even though they were premature, the twins are now healthy, though they wear helmets to reshape their heads.

Right after the twins were born, doctors removed a tumor the size of a football from Liz's upper thigh. The cancer had also spread to her lungs. Chemotherapy and radiation haven't helped.

Doctors said there's nothing more they can do. Over Christmas they told her she wouldn't make it, but she fought for six more weeks, enjoying the time that she had.

"That's what I'm doing right now, enjoying every minute of it," she said last Friday.

She scrapbooked, wrote letters to the twins and has told her family what she wants her daughters to hear.

"Tell them about me, how I enjoyed life, you know, that I was a great mom who fought this, who wanted to be here for you girls," Liz said.

---------

Liz's sister wrote this poem for her sister:

Remember Me

Remembrance is important to the human soul
We all want to be remembered when we are gone
Please remember me as the way I am
A beautiful strong soul who did not give in
Who did not give up the battle when the fight got tough
My spirit is forever resilient
Although my body is not as I wished it was
It can only endure so much pain before it gives up the struggle to survive it
Remember me for my radiance
As it rays down on you like sunshine warms the soul
Remember me for how much I cherish life
Embracing how lovely and delicate life truly is
As life is a precious gift to us all
We only have this one life to live
Be inspired to be the best person you can be
Tell my children they are loved and adored
How truly resilient I am for life and all it's beauty
As I face death with grace
As I watch over them from heaven
As an Angel with wings
Bathing them with love from heaven above
I'll always be within your hearts and souls
To be remembered and kept safe as a keepsake
As I know I am truly beloved
My final wish is to be truly remembered and not forgotten

Please Remember Me

To my sister.

Sharon Yvone Hoffarth

Ash Pendants Make Wonderful Sympathy Gifts

2010-07-21T15:03:00.000-07:00

Sympathy Gifts and Memorial Jewelry

More Sympathy Jewelry

In the last several years memorial jewelry has become one of the best selling gifts you can give to those who have experienced the death of a loved one. This Lens is dedicated to finding ways and gifts that are touching, unique and will bring great comfort to those who are suffering.

Town in Iowa Comes Together for University Senior

2010-07-14T16:00:00.000-07:00

Press Citizion reported this story a month ago. It is wonderful to see how a town can come together to help those in need.

In February, University of Iowa senior and 2006 Mid-Prairie High graduate Addison Powell began to feel like he had a sinus infection.

The condition worsened and by Easter weekend, it was discovered he had a tumor on his brain that would grow from the size of a golf ball to a baseball by the time it was removed April 28. The 13-hour operation caused doctors to remove his left eye after the tumor was found to have moved into his eye muscles. He now is recovering, three weeks shy of receiving his degree in computer science from UI.
On Saturday, his family and hometown of Wellman will host a day-long benefit to help Powell, 22, and his family handle the bills from the medical treatments and travel to St. Louis and the Mayo Clinic in Rochester, Minn. The benefit will include a four-person best show golf tournament at 9 a.m. at the Wellman Golf Course followed by a free-will dinner and a silent auction from 4 to 7 p.m. and a live auction at the Parkside Activity Center in Wellman, all to help Powell.
"This is going to be his battle for the rest of his life," said Melissa Rediger, his aunt and one of the organizers of the benefit.
The live auction, scheduled to start at 6:30 p.m. at the Parkside Activity Center, will include four nights at a condo at Lazy Days at the Lake of the Ozarks in Missouri for six people, a solid oak rocker, glider rocker, gift certificates, a meal for 12 people by Clara Bontrager, a power washer, a load of rock and trucking from Terra, several gift certificates and a theme basket. There also will be a football signed by Iowa football coach Kirk Ferentz, Rediger said.
She said she expects 800 to 1,000 people to attend the benefit.
"I think it's going to be pretty big," she said. "The Powell family is pretty well known down here."
Powell said he expects to undergo radiation treatment to get rid of whatever was left of the tumor during the coming months. He said he was hopeful to finish his degree and complete his internship at Rockwell Collins. In the meantime, he said he is grateful for the support from the community.
"I think it's really great," he said. "I can't believe people in this community came together like this."

Outpouring of Love

2010-06-24T07:28:00.000-07:00

I thought I would follow up on a recent post below. Two weeks ago I posted about my friends baby who was in the hospital with seizures. It was such a helpless feeling to be so far away. With the help of many, her older children were provided for, her needs while at the hospital were met and more then anything a sense of community coming together was felt. People all over the nation sent help.
What touches me more then anything, is a complete stranger to us, yet a sister in Christ, was able to go be with our friend at the hospital. A much needed shoulder to cry on, and arm to hold up. My heart was filled knowing that kindness and compassion are not dead.
The baby is doing much better now after 11 days in the hospital. Mom, Dad and baby are being reunited with their family today. I feel so blessed to have been a part in helping.

On a side note, while the families kids were here it became quite apparent they had not packed to be away from home for more then a day. Families from our group stepped up to purchase clothing for these kids. A simple way to show we loved them. Two boys I know took their own money and their own clothes to these kids. When I asked why they wanted to give, the reply was, " they really needed it and I have it to give."

Offering Hope When A Family is Dealing With a Sick Child

2010-06-14T13:39:00.000-07:00

I don't know what is worse. Getting a call that your child is ill, or getting the call that your friends child is very ill. I think my heart hurts just as much for them as it would if it was just for me.

My friend called this morning to tell me that our mutual friends baby was having seizures. What makes this hit even harder is that the baby is 4 days old and they are at least 6 hours away. How can you offer help when your so far away? What can you possibly do except pray? It's hard to hug through a phone, hold up your friend as she struggles with how to cope. It really gives you a helpless feeling. I have tried putting myself in her shoes. What would I want my friends to do for me? Help with my kids, provide some meals, pray. Yes, I would love to do all of those immediately. However, from 500 miles away how is it possible? I've spent the afternoon making calls, trying to get other families gathering to pray. Trying to make connections with families near her. Asking them to be my hands. Reminding myself that I would do it for someone else if I were asked.

With all the new technology and up to the second updates thanks to facebook and twitter, nothing can replace the arms of a friend. I guess my thought today, is if you were called upon, in your town to reach out to a stranger because a friend has asked you to for her, would you? I know that after today, my answer is yes. I will offer my arms and my means if someone ever asks me too. Would you?

The Rag Quilt

2010-04-28T09:10:00.000-07:00

A story called The Rag Coat inspired my friends to make a quilt for one of our friends who lost her grandfather. This friend of our was very close to her grandfather and when he died she was out of town. He was like a father to her and you can imagine how difficult it was for her to not be there to say goodbye. A week later the children had gone through the house taking what they wanted and discarding everything else outside with a free sign. The hurt ran deep within my friend and her family. No thought was given as to if others in the family may want or need something to remember him by.
After hearing the pain in our friends heart, it was decided that we should go and get some of her grandfathers clothes out of the free pile and make her a rag quilt. This was done in secret. We met together the next day with sewing machines in hand and cut and sewed her grandfathers memories into a blanket that would bring her comfort. Here are her words after she received our small gift :

The ones I LOVE gathered my grandfathers clothes. The clothes that were left discarded for free as if they had no value. They gathered them with love and prayers and created a quilt. A quilt to comfort my heart and wrap me in love. A quilt of memories. Even the little ironed creases my grandma made in my grandpas jeans are on the patches. I love you friends and I cannot thank you enough.

A simple expression between friends to help heal the pain. Friends can bring us down and friends can lift us up.

Email or Sympathy Card ?

2010-04-02T23:09:00.000-07:00

With more and more people communicating via email, facebook or IM's, the subject of sympathy etiquette has come up many times. When should I send a sympathy email vs. a sympathy card?

If you communicate with your friend or colleague by email and do not meet with them in person ever, sending an email acknowledging the death of a family member or loved one is acceptable. However it is advised that you always follow up your email with a personal hand written card.

If you know your friend or colleague well you should send a card as soon as you hear of their loved ones death. Card etiquette suggests you hand write the card in black ink. Always follow up your card with a phone call to show your sincere sympathies.

Giving a Gift to Someone Who Lost a Baby

2010-03-23T09:24:00.000-07:00

This week we remembered little Hosanna and her mom who was so kind to share her story with us and help us get a glimpse of what it is like to lose a baby so little. Today we look at a few gifts that can be sent to those who are grieving the loss of their child.

This book Little Footprints written by Dorothy Ferguson makes a truly wonderful gift for the grieving parents. This special memory book is made for parents with a stillborn child or who have experienced a newborn death. This special booklet preserves tiny keepsakes and memories. Photos and keepsakes can be kept inside the pockets.

The book Where's Jess is a perfect book to give to a family who has older children. They are sure to be experiencing their own grief at the loss of a sibling. This beautifully illustrated book will help them to have a better understanding of death.

Together these books will be a treasured thoughtful gift to a family who is grieving their loss.

The birth of Hosanna from Pinkpeas

2010-03-20T15:50:00.000-07:00

My friend shared this story with me from her midwife. It is her hope that through her story people may begin to understand those who have gone through a miscarriage. I know for me it has really touched my heart to hear the details so that I may in turn comfort another in time. Because of the length of this post, I will attach the link to her blog here.

I am grateful to Maggie for sharing her story so that we may be able to offer sympathy and not shy away from those who have experience the death of unborn child, or newborn. It shows us, that even if you do not feel you have any comforting words to offer, your kind acts can give so much comfort.

Thank you Maggie, for sharing little Hosanna with us.

http://pinkpeas.com/content/hosanna

Thinking of Others

2010-03-11T08:49:00.000-08:00

You know the saying; until you've walked in my shoes don't judge me? Have you ever considered that everyone has a story. Even those beautifully made up women in the store at 5am while your standing there in your pajamas, slippers and a hat on, have a story. Just the other day a dear friend of mine was shopping in the underwear section. Did you realize it can be almost impossible to pick out underwear when your stress level is to the max? My friend had just learned her brother was going to be put on kidney dialysis. While she is surrounded with friends and family who are there to help her out during this time her emotions are still running high. She doesn't know why she was in the underwear section at that very moment but she was. Standing next to her was another lady with the seemingly same issue. Picking out underwear. While my friend made a comment about just giving up trying to find the right kind, this lady responded, "I can't give up, I just checked my brother into the hospital. His kidneys are failing." Amazed at what just took place my friend Lisa introduced herself. Out of her mouth poured encouragement, understanding and a sympathy no one else could share with this stranger at that moment.
My point is this. We all have burdens, heartaches and joys. You may not understand someones pushy way in the store, or their apparent lack of awareness around them. I myself have been guilty of judging those who seem to only lookout for themselves, or seem to have no thought of anyone else around them. Did I ever consider their hearts may be so full of grief they are walking and doing without thinking? Instead of feeling we should pay back insult for insult, or rudeness for rudeness, let us try on the hat of patience, understand and sympathy. We have not walked a mile in everyone shoes, and the lady who seemingly is rude and huffy, may be at Walmart trying to find some clothes to change into because her life is in upheaval.

The Hope Room

2010-03-03T13:47:00.000-08:00

While cancer has not touched my life has it has many people I know, my heart was touched by this simple outreach here in town. The Hope Room. Here cancer patients can come in and get wigs, scarves, hand made colorful turbans and books. It is all donated and free to any cancer patient. This simple act of kindness is inspiring. I can not imagine the strength it takes to come to terms with cancer and the treatment it requires. Let alone trying to finance medical bills and medications. The Hope Room is the perfect name. When everything has a cost, The Hope Room gives you back a little bit of hope that all is not lost. Volunteers give of their time to support and comfort those who are at a loss. What a blessing to families that are going through the trials of cancer.

Blankets of Love

2010-02-25T13:43:00.000-08:00

One year the kids and I read about a program called Blanket of Love. It was a non-profit organization that collected gently used blankets and shipped them to Sudan. Hundreds of thousands of blankets have made it into the arms of many who had nothing but a thin rag to cover themselves at night. My children almost instantly began gathering all the blankets that were not in use at that exact moment. I was worried that maybe we would give too many, that we may need some of those blankets for ourselves. When my children reminded me that each of our beds no only had a sheet, a blanket and a comforter, I realized they really were showing compassion. My eyes flooded with tears as we boxed up a huge box of blankets that will still in very good shape and kept the older ones for ourselves. Their idea, not mine. They were not going to wait even one day. It was off to the post office with our huge box of blankets. It was such a small price to pay to send these blankets to a U.S address where they would bag them up to be airlifted.
It's been four years and we still have more blankets then we use. While I'm not sure if Blankets of Love is still in operation, I know my local shelter could benefit from the donation as well.

Reality of Hunger

2010-02-19T16:28:00.000-08:00

This past week we were able to experience one families deep need for food. This was a large family with 4 children who, like many in our nation, have run across hard times. This family is perfectly normal from the outside. Their children are so well mannered, dressed in nice clothing, happy and healthy. However, when you stepped into their kitchen one thing lacked. Food. They have benefited from the local gleaners, who deliver day old bread from the stores, veggies and fruit that may not be perfect but still edible and local food pantries. While this family had not asked for help, it was evident they needed it.

If you can take the time, donate to your local food pantry. I know many of us don't have much, but grabbing an extra bag of rice, or a few extra cans of veggies on sale at the store and donating them has a much bigger impact than we imagine sometimes. Just because a family is well put together, does not mean they are not struggling. If you know a neighbor or friend who needs a little help, consider making your own food basket and taking it to them. If your not sure what to buy, consider a gift card to your local supermarket.

Volunteering your time at your local pantry may give you just the push you need to step up your own donations. Realizing how many people out there are down right now will encourage you to give just a little more this time.

Secret Valentines

2010-02-02T16:26:00.000-08:00

There are many reasons to look forward to Valentines Day. Kids love giving cards to their classmates and the class parties that cut into the school day. Young lovers, enjoy giving gifts and cards that express their deep desires. Couples enjoy a night out together over a romantic dinner. Parents tuck valentine notes into their kids lunches or coat pockets. For many, Valentines is more than just chocolate, but a day to really show your appreciation for the one you spend your days and nights with.

For some, Valentines is another day that triggers heart ache. Those who have lost a loved one, friend or family member are the hardest hit. Single people who long to find someone special can feel saddened when love abounds in the air.

A wonderful way to take the sting out of being single, whether by choice or by chance, is to take this day and do something secretive and special for someone you know who may also be having an equally hard time. Send some roses signed, "from a friend who thinks your the best" or "thinking of you today". An elderly woman who has lost her spouse will be touched by the jester and it will help to brighten your day too knowing you were that secret someone who cared.

A Little Goes a Long Way

2010-01-26T14:58:00.000-08:00

You know we are entering a new technological age when you can donate money via text message. You may have thought it couldn't work, but the Red Cross has received over 7 million dollars since the Haiti earth quake doing just that. Just before midnight two days after the quake the Red Cross tweeted: You can text "HAITI" to 90999 to donate $10 to Red Cross relief efforts in Haiti. Since then over 700,000 people have done just that. Think you don't have time to research out a company, write out a check, or put it in the mail? Now you can pick up your phone and in less then 60 seconds donate money to a reputable charity. For the first time in years the Red Cross has used technology to connect to the young Americans that are so hard to reach, and they have responded.

If you are a U.S. cell phone users here is an easy way to donate $10. Text “HAITI” to 90999 and the money will be automatically billed in your next monthly statement.

How can I help the people in Haiti?

2010-01-14T08:53:00.000-08:00

From Fox News these are legit organizations that have been tried and true to their call. Make sure that if you do help by sending money that the charity you have chosen is not a scam but one you use on a regular basis. Unfortunately scams run high in the aftermath of a devastating disaster because peoples emotions run high and they want to help right away. Check out these charities listed on the Fox News Website if you want to help.

Numerous organizations are mobilizing to lend a hand in the devastating aftermath of Tuesday's earthquake in Haiti.
Authorities caution people to beware of online scammers. Click here to learn a couple of simple, safe ways to donate to the cause, or contact one of the following well-established charities that are collecting donations for relief efforts:

• Action Against Hunger: ACF International has mobilized an emergency response following the earthquake that devastated the city of Port-au-Prince. ACF teams on the ground have begun to carry out rapid evaluations across the city, while additional support, equipment, and materials — including water treatment supplies, emergency vehicles, and communications equipment — are en route from ACF’s bases in Gonaives.

• ActionAid: ActionAid asks for donations for its relief efforts. ActionAid has been working in Haiti since 1996 and is deploying an emergency team to deliver clean water, shelter and goods like blankets and soap.

• ADRA: ADRA is launching an initial response worth $85,000 to meet the immediate needs of survivors. According to an initial assessment, the immediate needs include water purification supplies, food, temporary shelter materials, hygiene kits, and medical assistance.

• American Red Cross: The American Red Cross has pledged an initial $200,000 to assist communities impacted by the earthquake in Haiti, and is prepared to take further action as local responders assess the situation.

• American Friends Service Committee: Accepting financial aid only at this time. Funds will go to immediate material needs and to help Haitians themselves rebuild their communities.

• AME-SADA: AME-SADA is currently assessing the situation in Haiti and will provide humanitarian relief and care on site through their system of local clinics and micro credit operations.

• Americares: Specializes in immediate disaster relief

• American Jewish Joint Distribution Committee: The world’s largest Jewish humanitarian assistance organization is collecting funds for relief efforts and working with partners on the ground in Haiti.

• American Jewish World Service: Donations will enable AJWS's network of grantees in Haiti to meet the urgent needs of the population based on real-time, on-the-ground assessments.

• Catholic Relief Services: Donations will go to help Haiti victims, who are still recovering from the deadly 2008 hurricanes.

• CARE: CARE donations will go to deliver emergency aid to victims of the impoverished nation's capital city.

• CONCERN Worldwide: Concern Worlwide US calls on the public for urgent support to allow the agency to provide food, water, shelter and medicine as the immediate priority for those that have survived the catastrophe.

• Direct Relief International: Direct Relief’s response efforts are fast, involve local partners, and are coordinated with other international organizations and governmental authorities to ensure the most efficient use of resources.

• Food for the Hungry: FH's operational focus in Haiti is HIV/AIDS and Child/Maternal health, and we will be looking to respond in these areas as well as other areas of need.

• Giving Children Hope: Giving Children Hope is talking with partners in Haiti, determining the greatest needs of the earthquake victims.

• Habitat for Humanity: Habitat for Humanity International is addressing shelter solutions for low-income families affected by the earthquake. Habitat’s ability to respond effectively to this disaster will require support from donors, volunteers, corporate partners and other community organizations.

• Hands On Disaster Response: Hands On Disaster Response (HODR) is returning to Haiti after a 2008-2009 hurricane response project, to determine how and where the organization's main resource of volunteers would be most effective in the response and recovery efforts.

• Handicap International: Already present in Haiti, Handicap International reacted rapidly to the earthquake, which hit the country Tuesday night. The association released $217,657 in funding Wednesday and will provide support for the team.

• International Medical Corps: International Medical Corps is deploying an Emergency Response Team to Haiti.

• International Relief Teams: International Relief Teams (IRT) is appealing for cash donations to help the victims of the powerful 7.0 magnitude earthquake that struck near the capital city of Port-au-Prince.

• The International Rescue Committee: The International Rescue Committee is deploying its Emergency Response Team to Haiti to deliver urgent assistance to earthquake survivors and help overwhelmed local aid. They’ll be focusing on critical medical, water and sanitation assistance.

• Islamic Relief: Islamic Relief USA has launched a $1 million appeal for the victims of the quake, and is coordinating a massive shipment of much-needed aid to the island nation.

• Lutheran World Relief: Lutheran World Relief is accepting donations to provide life-saving assistance in response to the earthquake in Haiti. Details of the emergency response will made available as the organization learns more about the immediate needs on the ground.

• Operation USA: Operation USA is appealing for donations of funds from the public and corporate donations in bulk of health care materials, water purification supplies and food supplements which it will ship to the region from its base in the Port of Los Angeles.

• Operation Blessing: Operation Blessing’s Haiti National Director, Eric Lotz, is on-the-ground making first responder assessments and disaster relief teams are mobilizing to bring emergency relief to victims.

• Oxfam: Oxfam has long experience in Haiti, and we're rushing in teams from around the region to respond to the situation where our assistance is most needed.

• PIH: Has had longstanding aid relationship with Haiti

• Salvation Army: The Salvation Army is currently mobilizing personnel and supplies to assist in the relief effort in Haiti, following the severe earthquake that struck Tuesday. The Salvation Army has already dedicated $50,000 in direct aid to the country, and it is in need of additional donations.

• Samaritan's Purse: Samaritan’s Purse is responding to the earthquake that devastated Haiti by providing critically needed assistance, including water, temporary shelter, blankets, hygiene kits, medical aid, and other essentials.

• Save the Children: Donations to Save the Children will help the charity provide urgently needed medical attention, safe drinking water, and other necessities.

• Stop Hunger Now: Stop Hunger Now will be coordinating relief efforts to our partners in Haiti by organizing shipments of meals and financial support.

• UNICEF USA: Donations to UNICEF will go to children, the most vulnerable population in any natural disaster.

• United Way Worldwide: Gifts to the Fund support long-term recovery efforts to rebuild lives and infrastructure devastated by disaster and to address educational, financial and health-related challenges.

• World Concern: Donate to Haiti relief efforts.

• World Food Programme: WFP is mobilising all available resources to bring urgently needed food assistance to thousands of people affected by the devastating earthquake which hit the Caribbean island of Haiti.

• World Vision:Your gift now will help distribute relief supplies — including food, clean water, blankets, and tents to children and families impacted by the earthquake and aftershocks in Haiti.

The Young can Give Something Too

2010-01-09T13:10:00.000-08:00

During the holidays a group of friends and our kids visit a nursing home. We enjoy visiting with the residents and they are so thrilled with the little children. Many residents of the nursing home do not have family close by and some suffer from memory loss and do not remember when the last time was they were visited. We always prep our children before visiting to remind them that these people are just like their own Grandma or Grandpa and might like to hold their hand, or touch their face. We tell them to think of stories they can tell or questions they can ask and we always come prepared to sing a song. On many occasions we have taken pictures the kids have colored and handed them out. It's a great way to make the kids feel good and helps to keep our own refrigerator doors uncluttered. The more we visit the more often the kids remember who they talked to before and they begin to form bonds.

Teaching your children young that their time can be an amazing gift helps to set a pattern as they grow. It does not cost anything but a little bit of time, and a small place in your heart but the rewards can mount up and fill your heart to overflowing in no time.

Technology has its moments

2009-12-30T14:59:00.000-08:00

I have kept in touch with a dear lady from church for many years. She was my Sunday school teacher when I was 8 years old. Even though we moved, years later we found ourselves attending the same church again. This time I was in high school. Her husband had always been good friends with my dad so I knew them pretty well too. They attended my wedding and my baby showers. Over the years though my husband and I moved away we kept in touch over email. It has been very heart warming for me to correspond with this dear lady and to continue to receive letters and encouragement from her even though we are miles apart.
This past year her husband passed away. She knew he was in a better place but was still heartbroken. Two weeks after he passed was their 60th anniversary. Her daughter came down to spend the day with her, take her out to lunch and celebrate their memories. During the day she asked her daughter to help her learn how to retrieve messages on her cell phone. You can imagine her surprise when she heard a message from her husband, who weeks ago had left a message on her phone while he was in the hospital. He told her how much he loved her and missed her. Imagine technology can sometimes lose important things, delete photos, or crash and make us restart all over, but in this one time it held on to something more important then one can imagine and gave it back just when it was needed.

Helping out a neighbor

2009-12-30T09:39:00.000-08:00

We are blessed to live next to some elderly neighbors. I say blessed because it gives my children and I many opportunities throughout the year to show kindness and to give of ourselves. We have enjoyed taking meals to our elderly neighbors, giving Christmas home baked goodies, running errands, picking up garbage, trimming bushes and shoveling side walks.
I'm am always thinking of ways to get involved with the community and give my children the opportunity to serve. However, it is not always easy to find a good fit in the sense of time commitment, or abilities. It didn't take long for us to realize we could make a difference on our own street and bring joy into someones life. Having my children work right along with me, or even offering of themselves has taught them many lessons in humility. Not only have we been so blessed to serve our neighbors, but it always catches on and soon you see other neighbors going above and beyond for each other. It's not a competition, but I believe a good way to live. We look out for each other, we help each other, and sometimes we meet in the middle to do a good deed.
This year, look around your neighborhood and see what you can do to make a difference.

Support our Servicemen and Women overseas

2009-12-22T15:46:00.000-08:00

"The mission of Packages From Home is to send care and comfort packages to deployed American military heroes who are stationed in active duty theaters around the world, as well as to facilitate activities that elevate morale of all veterans."

There are so many stories from our service men and women about how they celebrate Christmas overseas. They do not get caught up in the commercialism of the day. There are few if any Christmas trees and the decorations are usually pictures of their families at home. Presents are usually given by a lottery to the younger and lower class soldiers. No one gets caught up in the fairness of it all but try to enjoy the giving spirit. Church services are arranged and no solider is turned away. The greatest difficulty during this time is missing their families. Even though they are happy to serve our country and fight for our continued freedoms, some of them give up years with their wives and children that they won't be able to get back. This group was formed to give back to our servicemen while they are away from their loved ones. They send packages filled with comfort items like socks, books, movies and food items. There are many way to volunteer your time to help gather items to send and even host parties to collect money or items to be packaged for our soldiers.
During this time, if you know a soldiers family let them know you are thinking of them and thank them for giving up their spouse. They are sacrificing just as much as our servicemen.

Giving Thanks

2009-11-24T16:34:00.000-08:00

Thanksgiving is just around the corner. A time when families come together for good food and fellowship. Families try to put aside their differences and count the things in their lives that truly matter. They reminiscence about Grandma's cooking or that one dish someone brought last year that was terrible. The days usually end in light laughter, happy smiles and full tummies.

For some, however, the holidays are a reminder of the loss they have endured. Reminiscing about loved ones alone can make what was once a holiday celebration, feel like losing them all over again. We all know someone who is alone on the holidays. Maybe it's an older couple, maybe a young lady who has lost her parents, or an older gentleman who lost his wife. Who ever it is in your life, inviting them over to spend the holidays with your family will not only give them reasons to give thanks, but will give you many reasons to count your blessings this holiday season.

Giving Circles- A New Trend In Charity

2009-11-19T09:06:00.000-08:00

There is a growing trend among people that give regularly to charity called giving circles. Believing in the power of numbers, giving circles allow a larger group of people to give to one charity at a time. This allows for larger amounts of donations reaching the causes that need them most. Here is how it works, a large group of individuals pool their money, then donate the lump sum to the selected charity. Giving circles have raised 88 million dollars since 2004 for well deserving charities. Giving circles are organized groups with committees that make decisions on who receives the funds for the year. With each member of the circle donating a predetermined amount per year, the commitees know just how much money they will be able to donate. If you are interested in joining a giving circle you can log on to givingcircles.org to find a group in your area.

Compassion In Every Day Life

2009-11-16T09:30:00.000-08:00

On this blog, I like to feature stories of selfless giving, sympathy towards others and incredible acts of kindness. Today, I thought I would take a step back and look for acts of compassion in my own life. Has there been any instances of selflessness shown to me that never made the headlines or pages of a magazine? There was one instance that came to my mind right away. Six months after I got engaged to my husband, he was laid off from his job. The wedding date was very close and plans were already made with the caterer, florist, etc. We made a tough decision to postpone the wedding until things were better for us financially. As I told a good friend the news, she was very saddened. The next day she presented an invitation to me. As I opened it, I was in shock. It was an invitation to my wedding! She had volunteered to plan, organize and host my wedding in her large backyard. Her husband built a deck for the wedding party stage. She aranged for all of our close friends to bring a dish so we did not have to pay a caterer. Her husband video taped the entire wedding free of charge for us. She made beautiful decorations and made sure my wedding day was all that I had dreamed. When I think of my wedding day, I treasure the compassion and kindness my friend showed me that day. Let us know if you have been shown selfless compassion by someone during a difficult time. We would love to hear how you have been helped by others.

A Great Sacrifice For A Fellow Coworker

2009-11-12T08:16:00.000-08:00

In the Sept. 21st issue of Woman's World Magazine, I read a very touching story of sympathy, sacrifice and kindness. With the ongoing economic downturn many have lost thier jobs or have been laid off. The same was true for Mike and Lori Champ. Mike was a computer technician at the Governor's School For The Arts. Mike knew layoffs were coming and feared the worse because he was a father of four children, one with severe autism. He truly needed to keep his job so his son could continue receiving the benefits of their health insurance that came along with his job. Mike and his wife were feeling hopeless about their upcoming situation. Little did they know they had a guardian angel named Ralph. Ralph also worked at the School For The Arts and loved to hear the stories about the progress Mike's son Aaron was making in therapy. He also was aware that because of his seniority, he was probably safe from a layoff but Mike was not. Doing the unthinkable, Ralph marched into the office of their boss and asked if he could be layed off instead of Mike. He knew that Mike and his family needed the security of the job more than he did. When Mike came in the next day, he saw Ralph clearing out his desk. He asked him why and Ralph told him that he asked if he could be let go instead of him. Although in shock, Mike could not be more grateful by the sacrifice Ralph had made for his family. Aaron could continued to blossom in his therapy because of their new family hero. What a wonderful act of kindness Ralph and his family made for a fellow coworker. Ralph and Mike continue to be good friends today.

A Playground From The Heart

2009-11-09T12:53:00.000-08:00

(photo: http://www.possibilityplayground.com/)

This blog is all about helping others through compassion, sympathy, empathy and kindness. We plan to post stories of kindness as we find them in the news, online or elsewhere. Today's story is about Mardy McGarry who dreamed of builiding a playground for kids with special needs. As McGarry witnessed special needs children being left out of playtime because of equipment not meant for special needs, she began to research play equipment that would be compatible with wheel chairs. She was shocked to learn that a third of her town would gather together and support her mission. Small businesses, and families began pitching in what they could including lumber and supplies for the playground. On the first day of construction McGarry said the site looked like an anthill with so many people there to lend their time and money to make her dream a reality. Today, Possibility Playground is the most popular in her town of Ozaukee County. The playground consists of a giant rocking pirate ship, low rings, monkey bars, a climbing wall and lighthouse that all children can enjoy. McGarry states that she is so happy to see disabled and nondisabled children playing together shoulder to shoulder. What a great example of people coming together for a common good. Childhood is precious and with the help of all who donated their resources, it is even more precious to these special children and their families.

Offering Sympathy During The Holidays

2009-11-03T09:54:00.000-08:00

Summer has passed and winter is just around the corner. With the approaching holiday season comes heartache and grief for some people. Those that have lost loved ones will be celebrating their first holiday season without their spouse, friend or family member. No doubt, this will be a very difficult time for them. How can you offer your sympathy and support during the season that is supposed to bring them joy? The truth is, you cannot bring them joy because of their profound pain but you can be the shoulder they may need to cry on or the listening ear they need to get through the holidays. Be sure to send a heartfelt letter, photos of family and friends or a sympathy gift that will offer comfort and encouragement. To find out more ways to offer your support during the holiday season click here for more tips and suggestions.

Acts Of Kindness From Strangers

2009-11-02T14:29:00.000-08:00

I picked up my newest addition of Women's World Magazine and found a great section they are including called "Helping Each Other." This week's story was about Charlie's House. Charlie is a 20 year-old disabled man that was born with Cerebral Palsy. Living an independant life would have been impossible for Charlie without a specially equipped house that included ramps, low light switches and wheel in bath tubs. Charlie's mom almost gave up on her son's dream of being independant because of the high cost of a special home until perfect strangers offered to build Charlie's house. Today, Charlie's house boasts residents like Charlie that would not otherwise be able to live independantly. Because of the generosity of strangers these men have the hope of living like other 20 year-olds, hanging out and watching the game on their big screen T.V. What blessings all the people who helped build this dream home have brought Charlie, his mother and this community. Giving to others in their time of need brings joy to both the giver and the receiver. If you know of anyone who has benefited from the kindness of strangers, please post here. We would love to here your stories of compassion and generosity.

Offering Your Sympathy In Tough Times

2009-11-02T13:53:00.000-08:00

Sympathy can take on many forms. It can be in the form of a sympathy gift basket, a heartwarming letter or a heartfelt phone call. Showing sympathy during these difficult times can be for many reasons including the death of a loved one, a lost home, the death of a pet, tragic accident or even a grim diagnosis. During difficult times, those we love need to know they are not alone. They need to be reminded that others care about their well being and will be there when times get tough. Showing sympathy and empathy is not always an easy thing to do. Sometimes we may feel awkward because words do not come easy for us. This blog discusses many ways we can help each other show care, concern and sympathy to others that are close to us or even across the globe. If someone has shown sympathy to you, post about it here. It may help someone else show sympathy to individuals in need.