A Guide to Grief : HospiceNet.Org

Grief is the normal process of reacting to the loss. Grief reactions may be felt in response to physical losses (for example, a death) or in response to symbolic or social losses (for example, divorce or loss of a job). Each type of loss means the person has had something taken away. As a family goes through a cancer illness, many losses are experienced, and each triggers its own grief reaction. Grief may be experienced as a mental, physical, social, or emotional reaction. Mental reactions can include anger, guilt, anxiety, sadness, and despair. Physical reactions can include sleeping problems, changes in appetite, physical problems, or illness. Social reactions can include feelings about taking care of others in the family, seeing family or friends, or returning to work.

To read the rest of this article head over to HospiceNet.Org.

The information on their website is helpful for anyone who is suffering a loss. The death of a spouse, parent or child can be life changing, and grief comes in so many forms. Understanding and being able to identify your stages of grief can in itself be a step towards healing. Hospice was a wonderful help to our family and their website is full of information to help all those involved.

Thank you to HospiceNet.Org for writing this article.

How to Handle Gift Requests at Funerals

The family has asked for charitable donations in lieu of gifts. Can I send flowers or a sympathy gift basket anyway?

Yes you can. The family is trying to let people know that we don’t want you to spend money on flowers that will only be enjoyed for awhile and that instead we would like your money to do more good for others in our loved ones name. It does not mean they would turn them away or think less of you, it just means they are trying to be practical and change a difficult time into some good. If you want to send a gift or flowers by all means do it. It will cheer them to know they are thought of and it will be welcomed. If you do make a charitable donation a note saying what charity you donated to is more than acceptable. You do not need to note the amount you sent.

Remembering the anniversary of a death.

It has been a year since my friends husband has died, should I let her know I’m thinking of her or would that bring up too many wounds?

Yes you should call or come over, it is going to be a difficult day whether anyone calls them or not. Having a friend who remembers will go a long way in easing the pain of the day. It doesn’t take much to show you have remembered their loved one, and yet it can mean the world to the person who has lived the loss daily for a year. It shows them that their loved one has lived on in the hearts of friends and family and that the memory has not faded or gone. Time does heal, time does lessen the pain, however that first anniversary is hard. By just remembering them with a simple gesture you can ease their pain tenfold.

The Importance of a Sympathy Card

An interview recently turned up this thought provoking look at how a simple sympathy card could really make a difference in the life of someone who is grieving.

Read the article here.

Helping your Child Deal with Grief

Helping Children Deal With Grief means you must also work at accepting your own feelings about grief. It is not an easy road, but realizing that we are grief differently, understanding that grief can show itself in many different forms will help us to accept it. 

Adults and children respond to that grief differently. Younger children may view the death as temporary or reversible. They do not grasp the finality of death. Because children view death differently than adults they should never be forced to attend a funeral if they are scared to go. Let them deal with the death on their own terms such as drawing a picture, writing a letter or making a scrapbook.

Remember, children may simply be grieving because they see you grieving. Accept where they are, encourage them to explore feelings, and be honest about your own. Like everything, grief is a process. There will be good days and bad. There will be easy days and difficult. Understanding that you are grieving and it is acceptable will help you to face it head on.

If grief ever becomes so overwhelming that you can not function for days at a time, consider seeing a grief counselor to help you. There is no shame in seeking help. Think of it as a gift to yourself and your children as you pass your healing on to them.